"Unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord will accomplish this." Isaiah 9:6-7
The prophet Isaiah predicted the birth of the Messiah, the One who would come and bring everlasting peace to the world.
Jesus came and fulfilled ALL of the scriptures pertaining to the Messiah, leading up to his death and resurrection. I believe there were around 70 prophecies that He fulfilled to validate His place in history and in God's plan of redemption.
So....
Where's the peace?.... The world is still very much in conflict,.... wars and rumors or wars,... corrupt governments,....genocide,..... crazy dictators in unstable countries....
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in Me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. " Luke 14"1-4
"They (Jesus' disciples) were looking intently up into the sky as he was going, when suddenly two men dressing in white stood beside them. "Men of Galilee, they said, why do you stand there looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven." Acts 1:10-11
I once heard a sermon where the preacher said that looking at Jesus in prophecy is like looking at a mountain range. In full view is a mountain that depicts the arrival and life of Jesus Christ on the earth,... his birth, ministry, death and resurrection. On the other side of that mountain is another mountain, shielded from view by the first. This second mountain represents all the prophecies concerning Jesus' second coming to earth to rule and reign as King of Kings and Lord of Lords,... to fulfill the prophecy like the last part of Isaiah 9.
In between these two mountains is a valley,.... which represents a span of time.
This "valley" is where we find ourselves presently. These are the "days of grace", the time in which the Good News is preached to the ends of the earth. A day is approaching when Jesus Christ shall return again and put an end to all of the wars, sin and corruption we are now experiencing. Nobody knows for sure exactly when that day will come, but, as with all of the other prophecies that have been fulfilled to the letter, so will the prophecies concerning Jesus' return.
As we celebrate Christmas, the advent of His first coming, let us also consider that the story is still in process... the script is still being written, the final chapter is yet to be presented upon the world's stage. Christmas is a good time to reflect, ... to remind ourselves that the excitement and drama of Christ's first appearing will actually pale in comparison to when He returns in His resurrected glory! Great things await to be revealed.
When we see the world in the shape that it is in today, remember the words of Jesus: "Let not your heart be troubled. Believe in God, ... believe in ME also."....
Jesus... the same, "Yesterday, Today... and ... Forever"... Hebrews 13:8
We hear a lot of Christmas carols this time of year. One of my favorite Christmas songs is one that doesn't get a lot of airplay on the radio. It was written by one of my favorite songwriters, Skip Ewing. The song: "It Wasn't His Child"
You can listen to it at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfjWzy12xlE
Wishing you and yours a wonderful Christmas!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Cutting.. part 3
Signs that your daughter might be cutting, or harming herself in some way...
General defiance
Not fulfilling her responsibilities
Exploding with anger
Withdrawing completely
Becoming unusually passive
It's easy for parents to jump in "full force" and confront their daughter. This can be seen as a "combative" move on the part of the young person and cause them to further raise their defenses. It is advisable to approach the subject with love and concern. The person doing the self-harm is dealing with enough shame and guilt already. They shouldn't be approached in a way that will simply add more shame and guilt to the problem. Confrontation can be a beautiful expression of love if approached in the correct manner. In the case of addicts/alcoholics, there is sometimes an "intervention", when the entire family and close friends get together with an experience counselor to confront the person with the problem. They are not there to be "accusatory" or "blaming", but to simply show the person that they love them and miss the relationship that the drug is stealing them away from. In the same way, parents should express that their concern is for the well-being of their daughter and that they aren't there to judge or condemn but to love them unconditionally.
If the parents are together (married), they should approach the problem from a unified position, both parents agreeing to how the situation should be approached. There should be "unity" on the part of the parents, neither parent blaming the other for perhaps causing the situation in the first place.
The parent(s) should remain calm and maintain that they love their daughter and only want to help her.
The intervention should only take place in a safe environment, some place where there aren't other people around who aren't part of the solution. In other words, it should be done "privately".
The parent(s) should make it an issue of prayer if they believe in God, or a "Higher Power", asking for wisdom in dealing with the situation.
The parent should be armed with reasons/observations that are leading them to bring the issue up. They should be prepared for their daughter to to deny the behavior, so they should be ready to give some examples as to why they have their suspicions.
The parent(s) should constantly remind their daughter of their unconditional love, letting their daughter know that, no matter what she is doing to herself or going through, they are not there to judge her, but simply to love her and help her in her struggles.
For parents to know:
1. Their daughter's struggle with self-harm does not mean or indicate that you are a bad parent!
I've heard over and over again, parents blaming themselves for their addict son or daughter.
No parent is the perfect parent. We all make mistakes in the area of parenting, but blaming
oneself is never a solution to the problem and, most of the time, is actually a hindrance.
2. Submit your feelings and concerns to God or your Higher Power
3. Be humble!....Approach every situation with your child from a standpoint of humility.
4. Remind yourself that you are NOT her Savior, nor are you capable of having the answer to
all problems at all times.
5. Be proactive in helping your daughter realize that God will be YOUR strength as well as HERS
throughout this entire difficult process of helping and healing.
A prayer for parents:
Lord God, I pray for my daughter. I lift her up to You and pray for You to lead and guide her. I pray for her to know she is loved and accepted by You. I thank You in advance for healing her of her pain and I pray that You would empower her with Your Spirit to overcome her desire to self-harm. I pray that she would see her value and importance on this earth, to You, to her parents, to her friends and relatives. I pray that she would live and not die, declaring the works of the Lord on her behalf.
And Lord, I surrender my daughter to You. Lead and guide me as I help my daughter. I surrender MY life to You. I choose to trust You in all of Your ways and trust that You will do a miracle in my family.....
Mercy Ministries:
Founder and President of Mercy Ministries, Nancy Alcorn began her career in corrections and social work. Realizing the inadequacy of secular programs to offer real transformation in the lives of troubled girls, she started Mercy Ministries in 1983, with residential programs now available in several states and internationally. A frequent speaker at conferences around the world, Nancy resides in Nashville, Tennessee. Visit the Mercy Ministries website at:
www.mercyministries.com
If you know of a parent who might be interested in this brief overview on the subject of Self-Harm, please direct them to read this and the last couple of blogs on the issue at:
www.12stepsandawindingroad.com
Thanks and gratitude to everyone who shows concern for the hurting and those suffering from the bondage of addiction(s), in whatever form it takes....
General defiance
Not fulfilling her responsibilities
Exploding with anger
Withdrawing completely
Becoming unusually passive
It's easy for parents to jump in "full force" and confront their daughter. This can be seen as a "combative" move on the part of the young person and cause them to further raise their defenses. It is advisable to approach the subject with love and concern. The person doing the self-harm is dealing with enough shame and guilt already. They shouldn't be approached in a way that will simply add more shame and guilt to the problem. Confrontation can be a beautiful expression of love if approached in the correct manner. In the case of addicts/alcoholics, there is sometimes an "intervention", when the entire family and close friends get together with an experience counselor to confront the person with the problem. They are not there to be "accusatory" or "blaming", but to simply show the person that they love them and miss the relationship that the drug is stealing them away from. In the same way, parents should express that their concern is for the well-being of their daughter and that they aren't there to judge or condemn but to love them unconditionally.
If the parents are together (married), they should approach the problem from a unified position, both parents agreeing to how the situation should be approached. There should be "unity" on the part of the parents, neither parent blaming the other for perhaps causing the situation in the first place.
The parent(s) should remain calm and maintain that they love their daughter and only want to help her.
The intervention should only take place in a safe environment, some place where there aren't other people around who aren't part of the solution. In other words, it should be done "privately".
The parent(s) should make it an issue of prayer if they believe in God, or a "Higher Power", asking for wisdom in dealing with the situation.
The parent should be armed with reasons/observations that are leading them to bring the issue up. They should be prepared for their daughter to to deny the behavior, so they should be ready to give some examples as to why they have their suspicions.
The parent(s) should constantly remind their daughter of their unconditional love, letting their daughter know that, no matter what she is doing to herself or going through, they are not there to judge her, but simply to love her and help her in her struggles.
For parents to know:
1. Their daughter's struggle with self-harm does not mean or indicate that you are a bad parent!
I've heard over and over again, parents blaming themselves for their addict son or daughter.
No parent is the perfect parent. We all make mistakes in the area of parenting, but blaming
oneself is never a solution to the problem and, most of the time, is actually a hindrance.
2. Submit your feelings and concerns to God or your Higher Power
3. Be humble!....Approach every situation with your child from a standpoint of humility.
4. Remind yourself that you are NOT her Savior, nor are you capable of having the answer to
all problems at all times.
5. Be proactive in helping your daughter realize that God will be YOUR strength as well as HERS
throughout this entire difficult process of helping and healing.
A prayer for parents:
Lord God, I pray for my daughter. I lift her up to You and pray for You to lead and guide her. I pray for her to know she is loved and accepted by You. I thank You in advance for healing her of her pain and I pray that You would empower her with Your Spirit to overcome her desire to self-harm. I pray that she would see her value and importance on this earth, to You, to her parents, to her friends and relatives. I pray that she would live and not die, declaring the works of the Lord on her behalf.
And Lord, I surrender my daughter to You. Lead and guide me as I help my daughter. I surrender MY life to You. I choose to trust You in all of Your ways and trust that You will do a miracle in my family.....
Mercy Ministries:
Founder and President of Mercy Ministries, Nancy Alcorn began her career in corrections and social work. Realizing the inadequacy of secular programs to offer real transformation in the lives of troubled girls, she started Mercy Ministries in 1983, with residential programs now available in several states and internationally. A frequent speaker at conferences around the world, Nancy resides in Nashville, Tennessee. Visit the Mercy Ministries website at:
www.mercyministries.com
If you know of a parent who might be interested in this brief overview on the subject of Self-Harm, please direct them to read this and the last couple of blogs on the issue at:
www.12stepsandawindingroad.com
Thanks and gratitude to everyone who shows concern for the hurting and those suffering from the bondage of addiction(s), in whatever form it takes....
Monday, December 6, 2010
Cutting... Part 2
This is a continuation of last weeks' blog on Cutting, .... described as "Self-Harm"...
I took my notes from a presentation at my church by Laura Rink, who worked this past summer as a counselor for teenage girls. The camp is a Christian Camp and so this subject was approached from a Christan perspective. I know that not all who read this blog may have the same belief system and may approach this and other subjects differently. I am presenting it as it was presented to me. I hope you, the reader, will take this into consideration. As I said previously, this issue of cutting is a serious psychological problem and if you know someone who is self-mutilating in any way, you should talk to a professional counselor and try to get help for them....whether it's a Christian Counselor or a secular one.
Breaking Free:
Talking about your emotions
Writing down your feelings daily (Journaling)
Drawing and Painting
Praise and Worship
Prayer
Reading the Bible
Christian Counseling
Forgiving Others:
Allowing unforgiveness to take root in your life is a stumbling block to freedom. (Note: This applies to breaking free of ALL addictive, destructive behaviors.)
Realizing that we have been forgiven by God frees us to forgive others. Refusing to forgive locks our pain inside of us.
We also need to realize that forgiveness is not an emotion, but it is a choice. It's a starting place to simply say the words, making the choice to say the words daily, even praying for that person whom we hold resentment for. The feelings will come later. Perhaps slowly, but they will come.
Also, unforgiveness keeps us bound to the control of others and their abuse.
Forgiving yourself:
I think this is a big one. Forgiving yourself. Actually, most of us don't think about this one, so we end up on an endless cycle of self-hatred, without even realizing it. It may be hard to forgive yourself for things you've done in the past. They key is: If you can honestly believe that God has the capacity to forgive you, and to even "choose" to forget what you have done in the past, how can you NOT forgive yourself? It's as if you are saying, "I know better than God what I do or don't deserve."..
This subject of forgiveness, .. for others AND yourself, is stressed in all Addiction Counseling, regardless of the addiction or struggle, and I believe it's something that all of us human beings deal with (or don't deal with) at some level in our lives.
For Parents:
In families where a high value is assigned to public reputation, girls especially, tend to feel extreme pressure to portray an image of perfection. In the role that religion plays in a persons' life this often results in the feeling that unless their life matches up to some "ideal" that they have been taught to believe, it can lead to the feeling of being a "failure". This, on turn can lead to a cycle of shame and guilt which simply compounds the problem.
It's important to realize that we aren't perfect,.. not even "close" to perfect,.. and never, in this life, will be.
The only perfect person who ever lived was Jesus Christ. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, something that a friend once told me. "Jesus didn't come into this world so that we could be like Him... He came because we " Couldn't". He came to die in our place and to give us His righteousness as a free gift.... through grace alone. No "Works" involved... no "striving for unattainable perfection"......
Parents, especially, can unknowingly have a negative impact on the emotions of a young person struggling to find their place in a world that portrays images of perfection. We are bombarded with advertisements and television programs which seem to solidify this belief of the "perfect life",... the "perfect body".
I personally believe that there is a great lack of communication between parents and their children and that many parents have abdicated their responsibility to teach and nurture correct thinking and have turned their children over to education via television, movies, music,... the mass media.
In my next blog I will address this issue of parenting further.
Hope you all have a great week!.....
I took my notes from a presentation at my church by Laura Rink, who worked this past summer as a counselor for teenage girls. The camp is a Christian Camp and so this subject was approached from a Christan perspective. I know that not all who read this blog may have the same belief system and may approach this and other subjects differently. I am presenting it as it was presented to me. I hope you, the reader, will take this into consideration. As I said previously, this issue of cutting is a serious psychological problem and if you know someone who is self-mutilating in any way, you should talk to a professional counselor and try to get help for them....whether it's a Christian Counselor or a secular one.
Breaking Free:
Talking about your emotions
Writing down your feelings daily (Journaling)
Drawing and Painting
Praise and Worship
Prayer
Reading the Bible
Christian Counseling
Forgiving Others:
Allowing unforgiveness to take root in your life is a stumbling block to freedom. (Note: This applies to breaking free of ALL addictive, destructive behaviors.)
Realizing that we have been forgiven by God frees us to forgive others. Refusing to forgive locks our pain inside of us.
We also need to realize that forgiveness is not an emotion, but it is a choice. It's a starting place to simply say the words, making the choice to say the words daily, even praying for that person whom we hold resentment for. The feelings will come later. Perhaps slowly, but they will come.
Also, unforgiveness keeps us bound to the control of others and their abuse.
Forgiving yourself:
I think this is a big one. Forgiving yourself. Actually, most of us don't think about this one, so we end up on an endless cycle of self-hatred, without even realizing it. It may be hard to forgive yourself for things you've done in the past. They key is: If you can honestly believe that God has the capacity to forgive you, and to even "choose" to forget what you have done in the past, how can you NOT forgive yourself? It's as if you are saying, "I know better than God what I do or don't deserve."..
This subject of forgiveness, .. for others AND yourself, is stressed in all Addiction Counseling, regardless of the addiction or struggle, and I believe it's something that all of us human beings deal with (or don't deal with) at some level in our lives.
For Parents:
In families where a high value is assigned to public reputation, girls especially, tend to feel extreme pressure to portray an image of perfection. In the role that religion plays in a persons' life this often results in the feeling that unless their life matches up to some "ideal" that they have been taught to believe, it can lead to the feeling of being a "failure". This, on turn can lead to a cycle of shame and guilt which simply compounds the problem.
It's important to realize that we aren't perfect,.. not even "close" to perfect,.. and never, in this life, will be.
The only perfect person who ever lived was Jesus Christ. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, something that a friend once told me. "Jesus didn't come into this world so that we could be like Him... He came because we " Couldn't". He came to die in our place and to give us His righteousness as a free gift.... through grace alone. No "Works" involved... no "striving for unattainable perfection"......
Parents, especially, can unknowingly have a negative impact on the emotions of a young person struggling to find their place in a world that portrays images of perfection. We are bombarded with advertisements and television programs which seem to solidify this belief of the "perfect life",... the "perfect body".
I personally believe that there is a great lack of communication between parents and their children and that many parents have abdicated their responsibility to teach and nurture correct thinking and have turned their children over to education via television, movies, music,... the mass media.
In my next blog I will address this issue of parenting further.
Hope you all have a great week!.....
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Cutters
This blog, 12 Steps And A Winding Road, is intended to be about "life, love, and addiction issues".
I think this subject of "Cutting" falls into this category in a big way....
My pastor's daughter, Laura Rink, did a presentation at our church regarding the issue of people who cut themselves. She was exposed to this after spending time this past summer at a camp for troubled teens.... as a counselor,... not a troubled teen. (Thought I should clear that up before I had to backtrack and undo some damage there)... :-)
God bless Laura for having a heart to be a counselor. It's a tough struggle. Most folks don't want to be "counseled".... thus, the challenge with the entire concept....
When I was getting my degree in drug and alcohol counseling, this issue of "cutting" never came up. It was never on the radar, but I think it falls right in there with all "addiction" issues and the underlying problems, along with the solutions, share much similarity.
If you have teenagers, or are around any teenagers, more than likely there is a connection to this issue of cutting. It's becoming more and more prevalent in this post-modern era.
Laura's source of information, besides the experience at the camp, is taken from a book by Nancy Alcorn, published in 2007.
If this is a problem for you or someone in your immediate family or circle of friends, I would recommend that you rush out and get a copy of the book!....
In my next couple of blogs I will try to loosely cover some of the salient aspects of this disturbing phenomenon...
"Cutting".... defined as doing "self-harm".... a deliberate, impulsive harming of the body, mostly done in secret and often hard to detect. Most cutters cut themselves in areas of their bodies that aren't likely to be exposed... to friends... parents... teachers.... the public.
Can also be symptomized by:
1. The cutting itself
2. A constant scratching as a response to psychic pressure or unexpected circumstances which cause stress. Also, picking at scabs and preventing the healing process from taking place.
3. Burning the skin on a regular basis with erasers, fire, or small heat-conducting objects.
4. Punching the body, including beating the head against walls or other inanimate objects.
5. Biting the inside of the mouth or the skin of the arms, hands or legs.
6. Pulling hair out.. including eyelashes and eyebrows.
7. Breaking bones or severely bruising the body.
What's behind this type of behavior?
Destructive emotions
Escape
Past or present abuse
Family dysfunction
Depression
Shame
Many of you might notice that these are some of the same issues that drive drug addiction and alcoholism, even sexual addiction.
Why do some people.... drink excessively..... take drugs....Involve themselves in destructive sexual behaviors...... "cut themselves"...... ?
The answer is: (drum roll please).......Because it feels good.
To most people this may seems like an incongruent answer, but it is an accurate one nonetheless.
As I stated in a previous blog... the human condition can be defined fairly simply... to "pursue" pleasure.... and to "avoid" pain.
The key in understanding addiction is to understand that there is more than just one type of pain. There's the "physical" pain we're all familiar with. Then, there is the "emotional" pain that we all go through on some level. Most of us who aren't addicts have better coping mechanisms to deal with psychic pain. Live is always painful on some front, in varying degrees of severity.
To the person who cuts themselves, the physical pain of mutilating the body is actually a release from a deeper, "psychic" pain, ... perhaps a pain that is so deep that it can't be "felt", (at least in the normal way we think about feelings),...so it has to come out in some other way other than a typical way of coping, the way life is dealt with by most people.
Just as the addict or alcoholic is using drugs and/or alcohol, the act of "cutting" actually feels better than the internal pain. Over time, this release of emotion becomes a continual thing, leading to addiction.
I've had heroin addicts tell me that part of the joy of getting "high" is actually the use of the needle. Most folks shudder at the thought of getting a shot, where the drug addict has taken the feeling of the poke of the needle on the skin and deeply associated it with the high of the drug. Addiction is indeed, cunning and baffling...
This is a pretty heavy issue. I will continue to try and convey some more information about this issue in my next blog.
In the meantime, like I said at the beginning,... IF you know someone who is experiencing this, or you are experiencing it yourself,... run, don't walk... and get a copy of the book "CUT" by Nancy Alcorn. You will need this information to move forward in getting help for yourself, a friend, or a loved-one.....
Thanks Laura, for bringing this issue to my attention and allowing me to make use of some of your material to convey this message to my readers...
You can find websites for the book by doing a search on Google and putting in the words "CUT' and "Nancy Alcorn"
I think this subject of "Cutting" falls into this category in a big way....
My pastor's daughter, Laura Rink, did a presentation at our church regarding the issue of people who cut themselves. She was exposed to this after spending time this past summer at a camp for troubled teens.... as a counselor,... not a troubled teen. (Thought I should clear that up before I had to backtrack and undo some damage there)... :-)
God bless Laura for having a heart to be a counselor. It's a tough struggle. Most folks don't want to be "counseled".... thus, the challenge with the entire concept....
When I was getting my degree in drug and alcohol counseling, this issue of "cutting" never came up. It was never on the radar, but I think it falls right in there with all "addiction" issues and the underlying problems, along with the solutions, share much similarity.
If you have teenagers, or are around any teenagers, more than likely there is a connection to this issue of cutting. It's becoming more and more prevalent in this post-modern era.
Laura's source of information, besides the experience at the camp, is taken from a book by Nancy Alcorn, published in 2007.
If this is a problem for you or someone in your immediate family or circle of friends, I would recommend that you rush out and get a copy of the book!....
In my next couple of blogs I will try to loosely cover some of the salient aspects of this disturbing phenomenon...
"Cutting".... defined as doing "self-harm".... a deliberate, impulsive harming of the body, mostly done in secret and often hard to detect. Most cutters cut themselves in areas of their bodies that aren't likely to be exposed... to friends... parents... teachers.... the public.
Can also be symptomized by:
1. The cutting itself
2. A constant scratching as a response to psychic pressure or unexpected circumstances which cause stress. Also, picking at scabs and preventing the healing process from taking place.
3. Burning the skin on a regular basis with erasers, fire, or small heat-conducting objects.
4. Punching the body, including beating the head against walls or other inanimate objects.
5. Biting the inside of the mouth or the skin of the arms, hands or legs.
6. Pulling hair out.. including eyelashes and eyebrows.
7. Breaking bones or severely bruising the body.
What's behind this type of behavior?
Destructive emotions
Escape
Past or present abuse
Family dysfunction
Depression
Shame
Many of you might notice that these are some of the same issues that drive drug addiction and alcoholism, even sexual addiction.
Why do some people.... drink excessively..... take drugs....Involve themselves in destructive sexual behaviors...... "cut themselves"...... ?
The answer is: (drum roll please).......Because it feels good.
To most people this may seems like an incongruent answer, but it is an accurate one nonetheless.
As I stated in a previous blog... the human condition can be defined fairly simply... to "pursue" pleasure.... and to "avoid" pain.
The key in understanding addiction is to understand that there is more than just one type of pain. There's the "physical" pain we're all familiar with. Then, there is the "emotional" pain that we all go through on some level. Most of us who aren't addicts have better coping mechanisms to deal with psychic pain. Live is always painful on some front, in varying degrees of severity.
To the person who cuts themselves, the physical pain of mutilating the body is actually a release from a deeper, "psychic" pain, ... perhaps a pain that is so deep that it can't be "felt", (at least in the normal way we think about feelings),...so it has to come out in some other way other than a typical way of coping, the way life is dealt with by most people.
Just as the addict or alcoholic is using drugs and/or alcohol, the act of "cutting" actually feels better than the internal pain. Over time, this release of emotion becomes a continual thing, leading to addiction.
I've had heroin addicts tell me that part of the joy of getting "high" is actually the use of the needle. Most folks shudder at the thought of getting a shot, where the drug addict has taken the feeling of the poke of the needle on the skin and deeply associated it with the high of the drug. Addiction is indeed, cunning and baffling...
This is a pretty heavy issue. I will continue to try and convey some more information about this issue in my next blog.
In the meantime, like I said at the beginning,... IF you know someone who is experiencing this, or you are experiencing it yourself,... run, don't walk... and get a copy of the book "CUT" by Nancy Alcorn. You will need this information to move forward in getting help for yourself, a friend, or a loved-one.....
Thanks Laura, for bringing this issue to my attention and allowing me to make use of some of your material to convey this message to my readers...
You can find websites for the book by doing a search on Google and putting in the words "CUT' and "Nancy Alcorn"
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The Confession Booth Part 2
"I like your Christ. I don't not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
The statement above has been attributed to Mahatma Gandhi.
I don't know for sure whether he said it or not... but I'm sure it's been said somewhere, at some time, or at least the sentiment expressed by more than just a handful of people.
Last week I talked about my experience at one of the performing rights organizations. If you aren't familiar with it you should leap back a week and read it.
It's too easy for me to judge someone based on one single, isolated experience. Everyone has their bad days. It seems some folks, myself included have their share of bad days, .. even bad weeks.
There is an old bumper sticker that says, "I'm not perfect,... just forgiven".
Personally, I never liked that sentiment, for I think it is a backhanded way of making an excuse for the way we live and act and treat other people. I know that when I am offended by someone, having them tell me, "Hey, I'm not perfect.... I'm just forgiven"... just makes me want to slap them around.
"I'm so happy that GOD has forgiven you!.... Now, maybe He'll forgive me for the way I'm about to dance on the top of your head!".....
I picked up a copy of a book written by Donald Miller. The book is called, "Blue Like Jazz". I bought it because I really liked the title. My brother was a great Jazz musician and played the saxophone. He was amazing.
Anyway, the forward to the book reads:
"I never liked Jazz music because Jazz music doesn't "resolve". But I was outside the Baghdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.
After that, I liked Jazz.
Sometimes you have to watch someone love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.
I used to not like God because God didn't "resolve." But that was before any of this happened.".....
Donald Miller was a Christian who decided that, instead of taking the familiar Bible College route to education, he was going to attend one of the most secular universities in the U.S.
Each year at this college they shut down the campus for a weekend so that the students can party... get drunk, get stoned, get naked... whatever. (Now, some of you are saying, "Where IS this college... I want to go there!")....
Anyway,... while Don was at this college he was part of a small group of Christians who were trying to be a good witness for Jesus Christ.
So... on this particular weekend, when everything was so crazy, and the folks were partying hard,... the Christians set up a "Confession Booth." They built this little wooden booth with a partition in it so folks could "confess" and get right with God.
Nope. Not really....
You see, the Christians sort of "turned the table" on the whole concept of "confession".
When one of the students could stumble into the booth, they would sit in a chair and say something like, "O.K. What do you want me to confess?"....
Then, the "Christian student would say, "No I don't want YOU to confess. I want you to hear MY confession."
"Really?... That's really weird. But, O.K..... go ahead,... I'm listening."
Then the Christian student would "confess" .....that they hadn't really always been a good witness for Christ,... that often they would be totally self-centered, selfish, inconsiderate of other people's feelings.
"I'm really sorry that I've dragged the name of Jesus through the mud by my actions, comments, negativity, self-righteous attitude.....
Would you be willing to forgive me for that?. I don't want anything in return... just that you would forgive me for the times I've been so UN-Christ-like."...
Most of the time the secular student would say something like.... "Well, yea, I guess so. I mean, we ALL act stupid sometimes, say things that we should, that we wish we wouldn't have, have done things we wish we could take back..... So.... yes, I forgive you."
Then, they might stumble back out of the Confession Booth and go on back and party-on....
But, it might make them think.
It made ME think.....
I don't know about the lady at the performing rights organization. I can't judge her. That's between her and her God.
All I know is that there have been days in my life, as a Christian, I would make her look like a saint by my words, my negativity, by my actions.
For all the times I've dragged the good name of Jesus through the mud of my own life... I'm sorry.
I hope you'll forgive me....
A friend of mine once said, "Jesus didn't come into our lives so we could be like Him. He came because He knew we couldn't."....
I like that. Because it's so.... true.
The statement above has been attributed to Mahatma Gandhi.
I don't know for sure whether he said it or not... but I'm sure it's been said somewhere, at some time, or at least the sentiment expressed by more than just a handful of people.
Last week I talked about my experience at one of the performing rights organizations. If you aren't familiar with it you should leap back a week and read it.
It's too easy for me to judge someone based on one single, isolated experience. Everyone has their bad days. It seems some folks, myself included have their share of bad days, .. even bad weeks.
There is an old bumper sticker that says, "I'm not perfect,... just forgiven".
Personally, I never liked that sentiment, for I think it is a backhanded way of making an excuse for the way we live and act and treat other people. I know that when I am offended by someone, having them tell me, "Hey, I'm not perfect.... I'm just forgiven"... just makes me want to slap them around.
"I'm so happy that GOD has forgiven you!.... Now, maybe He'll forgive me for the way I'm about to dance on the top of your head!".....
I picked up a copy of a book written by Donald Miller. The book is called, "Blue Like Jazz". I bought it because I really liked the title. My brother was a great Jazz musician and played the saxophone. He was amazing.
Anyway, the forward to the book reads:
"I never liked Jazz music because Jazz music doesn't "resolve". But I was outside the Baghdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.
After that, I liked Jazz.
Sometimes you have to watch someone love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.
I used to not like God because God didn't "resolve." But that was before any of this happened.".....
Donald Miller was a Christian who decided that, instead of taking the familiar Bible College route to education, he was going to attend one of the most secular universities in the U.S.
Each year at this college they shut down the campus for a weekend so that the students can party... get drunk, get stoned, get naked... whatever. (Now, some of you are saying, "Where IS this college... I want to go there!")....
Anyway,... while Don was at this college he was part of a small group of Christians who were trying to be a good witness for Jesus Christ.
So... on this particular weekend, when everything was so crazy, and the folks were partying hard,... the Christians set up a "Confession Booth." They built this little wooden booth with a partition in it so folks could "confess" and get right with God.
Nope. Not really....
You see, the Christians sort of "turned the table" on the whole concept of "confession".
When one of the students could stumble into the booth, they would sit in a chair and say something like, "O.K. What do you want me to confess?"....
Then, the "Christian student would say, "No I don't want YOU to confess. I want you to hear MY confession."
"Really?... That's really weird. But, O.K..... go ahead,... I'm listening."
Then the Christian student would "confess" .....that they hadn't really always been a good witness for Christ,... that often they would be totally self-centered, selfish, inconsiderate of other people's feelings.
"I'm really sorry that I've dragged the name of Jesus through the mud by my actions, comments, negativity, self-righteous attitude.....
Would you be willing to forgive me for that?. I don't want anything in return... just that you would forgive me for the times I've been so UN-Christ-like."...
Most of the time the secular student would say something like.... "Well, yea, I guess so. I mean, we ALL act stupid sometimes, say things that we should, that we wish we wouldn't have, have done things we wish we could take back..... So.... yes, I forgive you."
Then, they might stumble back out of the Confession Booth and go on back and party-on....
But, it might make them think.
It made ME think.....
I don't know about the lady at the performing rights organization. I can't judge her. That's between her and her God.
All I know is that there have been days in my life, as a Christian, I would make her look like a saint by my words, my negativity, by my actions.
For all the times I've dragged the good name of Jesus through the mud of my own life... I'm sorry.
I hope you'll forgive me....
A friend of mine once said, "Jesus didn't come into our lives so we could be like Him. He came because He knew we couldn't."....
I like that. Because it's so.... true.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The Confession Booth (part 1)
"Why did I make an appointment with you?"......
She said, again, ....for about the third time in the last 15 minutes.
Me: "I don't know. Maybe because you're a moron and you should never have been given this position in the first place?"....
O.K. I didn't actually SAY that.... but I THOUGHT it... and would have liked to have been able to say it....
So goes my experience with one of the leading performing rights societies. There are three of them... B.M.I. (Broadcast Music Inc.),... ASCAP (American Society of Composers, Artists and Publishers).. and SESAC ( Society of European Singers, Actors, and Composers)....
If you are a songwriter you are often told to make an appointment to see someone at one of the performing rights societies and have them listen to some of your songs. If they like what they hear, then they will refer you to a reputable publisher.... and, hopefully, you can move on up the proverbial "ladder" to the next step in your career.
I had made my appointment weeks earlier with this particular one and had made the 12-hour drive to Nashville to keep the appointment and get some of my songs listened to and evaluated.
The woman who met me in the lobby had made this statement upon my arrival. "Who are you, and why did I make an appointment to see you today?".....
This didn't bode well for our meeting. Nope, not a good sign.
I explained that I had indeed scheduled this appointment for "today" and would she please listen to some of my songs?......
Begrudgingly she had me follow her to a small office. She said, "I don't have much time... what have you got?"
I pulled out several songs and she stuck the first one into the CD player..... listened to about the first 20 seconds, stopped it, gave it back to me.... "What else?".... I gave her another song... Same response...
This went on for about 3 or 4 minutes. I could tell she didn't really want to listen to the songs. I could tell she was perturbed by my taking up her precious, valuable time.
Finally, she simply said, .. "I don't know why I made this appointment for today. I'm really busy right now getting ready for the Christian Music Awards.
In case you didn't catch that the first time: .... The CHRISTIAN Music Awards.!!!
Wow. She was busy working on the CHRISTIAN Music Awards..... and that was the reason she was being a real .... a real... well, you know.... a real....(It rhymes with "witch"...).....
She threw me totally off-guard with this remark. Actually, I didn't know what to say,.. or think, or do,....right at the moment...
So I simply said, "Well, thanks for your time.... maybe I can come back at a later date and, .. perhaps,... you could listen to some of my songs then."
"Fine, she said. I gotta go."...
I felt like she had done everything short of having Security throw me out the door. I should have been glad she didn't have a Pit-Bull handy to take a few bites out of a leg... or worse.
I packed up my little bag of songs and shuffled off towards the main entrance, feeling totally like an idiot... feeling totally dejected, rejected, ... discombobulated.... (fill in your own words)...
It was a looooong 12-hour drive back home..... and about $500 poorer for my time, gas, food, hotel stay....etc.
I never went back. At least I never want back to THAT performing rights organization. (I'm sure they're feeling really bad about it).. (sarcasm)....
That was years ago, and since then I have found a terrific publisher on my own,.... thank you very much...
But, the experience stayed with me.
Perhaps there was a lesson to be learned here. Maybe God was trying to tell me something... and it was up to me to listen and learn....
I'm still trying....
And, in the meantime, I happened upon something that sort of put it in perspective for me...
(to be continued).....
She said, again, ....for about the third time in the last 15 minutes.
Me: "I don't know. Maybe because you're a moron and you should never have been given this position in the first place?"....
O.K. I didn't actually SAY that.... but I THOUGHT it... and would have liked to have been able to say it....
So goes my experience with one of the leading performing rights societies. There are three of them... B.M.I. (Broadcast Music Inc.),... ASCAP (American Society of Composers, Artists and Publishers).. and SESAC ( Society of European Singers, Actors, and Composers)....
If you are a songwriter you are often told to make an appointment to see someone at one of the performing rights societies and have them listen to some of your songs. If they like what they hear, then they will refer you to a reputable publisher.... and, hopefully, you can move on up the proverbial "ladder" to the next step in your career.
I had made my appointment weeks earlier with this particular one and had made the 12-hour drive to Nashville to keep the appointment and get some of my songs listened to and evaluated.
The woman who met me in the lobby had made this statement upon my arrival. "Who are you, and why did I make an appointment to see you today?".....
This didn't bode well for our meeting. Nope, not a good sign.
I explained that I had indeed scheduled this appointment for "today" and would she please listen to some of my songs?......
Begrudgingly she had me follow her to a small office. She said, "I don't have much time... what have you got?"
I pulled out several songs and she stuck the first one into the CD player..... listened to about the first 20 seconds, stopped it, gave it back to me.... "What else?".... I gave her another song... Same response...
This went on for about 3 or 4 minutes. I could tell she didn't really want to listen to the songs. I could tell she was perturbed by my taking up her precious, valuable time.
Finally, she simply said, .. "I don't know why I made this appointment for today. I'm really busy right now getting ready for the Christian Music Awards.
In case you didn't catch that the first time: .... The CHRISTIAN Music Awards.!!!
Wow. She was busy working on the CHRISTIAN Music Awards..... and that was the reason she was being a real .... a real... well, you know.... a real....(It rhymes with "witch"...).....
She threw me totally off-guard with this remark. Actually, I didn't know what to say,.. or think, or do,....right at the moment...
So I simply said, "Well, thanks for your time.... maybe I can come back at a later date and, .. perhaps,... you could listen to some of my songs then."
"Fine, she said. I gotta go."...
I felt like she had done everything short of having Security throw me out the door. I should have been glad she didn't have a Pit-Bull handy to take a few bites out of a leg... or worse.
I packed up my little bag of songs and shuffled off towards the main entrance, feeling totally like an idiot... feeling totally dejected, rejected, ... discombobulated.... (fill in your own words)...
It was a looooong 12-hour drive back home..... and about $500 poorer for my time, gas, food, hotel stay....etc.
I never went back. At least I never want back to THAT performing rights organization. (I'm sure they're feeling really bad about it).. (sarcasm)....
That was years ago, and since then I have found a terrific publisher on my own,.... thank you very much...
But, the experience stayed with me.
Perhaps there was a lesson to be learned here. Maybe God was trying to tell me something... and it was up to me to listen and learn....
I'm still trying....
And, in the meantime, I happened upon something that sort of put it in perspective for me...
(to be continued).....
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Real Men Don't Cry?
Keep having this dream about my old man
I'm ten years old and he's holding my hand
We're talking on the front porch watching the sun go down
But it was just a dream, he was a slave to his job and he couldn't be around
There's so many things I'd like to say to him
But I just place a rose on his grave and I talk to the wind
I don't know why they say grown men don't cry
I don't know why they say grown men don't cry
I'm sitting here with my wife and kids
And everything I hold dear in my life
We say grace and thank the Lord
Got so much to be thankful for
Then it's up the stairs and off to bed and my little girl says
"I haven't had my story yet"
And everything weighing on my mind disappears just like that
When she lifts her head off her pillow and says
"I love you dad"...
And I don't know why they say grown men don't cry
And I don't know why they say grown men don't cry
(From the song: "Grown Men Don't Cry" by Tim McGraw)
Tim McGraw is the epitome of one of the "Good Old Boys"
Songs about rugged Country Life, being the ultimate "Cowboy"...
One of the first songs of his career was called, "Don't Take The Girl"
The first time I heard it I had to pull the car over because... well,,, because... it's hard to drive and cry at the same time.... An extremely moving song...
Recently there have been some folks on T.V. talking about men who cry. Right now John Boehner is all over the news because he sort of had a "perclempt" moment while talking about his political career.
Glenn Beck gets hammered a lot because he has a tendency to get teary-eyed when he talks about America, America's Founders, ..... his family.... God.....
I know I'm a very emotional guy. My wife says it makes me a good songwriter. I don't know about that, I just know that things effect me deeply and my emotions usually present themselves with salty tears. I try to hide it the best I can.
"I just got something in my eye"..... "darn Kansas sand storms!"....
I also realize that tears can be deceptive. I think about when Jimmy Swaggert was on t.v., crying big-time over his dalliances with prostitutes. Was he sorry?....Or sorry that he got caught?... Sorry that he betrayed the trust of his friends and family and church, or sorry that his multi-million-dollar "ministry" just took a huge financial hit?..... I don't know...
I do know that he was unwilling to follow good counsel and step down "for a season" to get help with the issues in his life. To me, that means that his tears were pretty much a sham. That's just my opinion, ......based on some good evidence. I saw him on t.v. recently... they didn't "pan" the audience.... for good reason.... there weren't many of them to pan... (You can have tears without real repentance..... and you can have real repentance without tears).
Tears. Do "Real Men" cry?
There are some "evolutionary scientists" who say that it's a sign of being on "top of the evolutionary chain"....that humans are the only "animals" with the ability to cry.
I don't know if that's true or not. Since I don't believe in evolution anyway, it's probably a moot point. I think my cat cried the other day when I accidentally stepped on his tail. They might have been tears of anger since I have a habit of doing that quite often. I do know that cats can cuss. Where that puts them on the "evolutionary chain"... God only knows....
Anyway, for all those who like to engage in arguments over whether it's manly or "sissified" for a guy to shed tears once in awhile..... I have only two words to say.........
It's the shortest verse in the Bible... but it speaks volumes...
John 11: 35
Jesus Wept.
I'm ten years old and he's holding my hand
We're talking on the front porch watching the sun go down
But it was just a dream, he was a slave to his job and he couldn't be around
There's so many things I'd like to say to him
But I just place a rose on his grave and I talk to the wind
I don't know why they say grown men don't cry
I don't know why they say grown men don't cry
I'm sitting here with my wife and kids
And everything I hold dear in my life
We say grace and thank the Lord
Got so much to be thankful for
Then it's up the stairs and off to bed and my little girl says
"I haven't had my story yet"
And everything weighing on my mind disappears just like that
When she lifts her head off her pillow and says
"I love you dad"...
And I don't know why they say grown men don't cry
And I don't know why they say grown men don't cry
(From the song: "Grown Men Don't Cry" by Tim McGraw)
Tim McGraw is the epitome of one of the "Good Old Boys"
Songs about rugged Country Life, being the ultimate "Cowboy"...
One of the first songs of his career was called, "Don't Take The Girl"
The first time I heard it I had to pull the car over because... well,,, because... it's hard to drive and cry at the same time.... An extremely moving song...
Recently there have been some folks on T.V. talking about men who cry. Right now John Boehner is all over the news because he sort of had a "perclempt" moment while talking about his political career.
Glenn Beck gets hammered a lot because he has a tendency to get teary-eyed when he talks about America, America's Founders, ..... his family.... God.....
I know I'm a very emotional guy. My wife says it makes me a good songwriter. I don't know about that, I just know that things effect me deeply and my emotions usually present themselves with salty tears. I try to hide it the best I can.
"I just got something in my eye"..... "darn Kansas sand storms!"....
I also realize that tears can be deceptive. I think about when Jimmy Swaggert was on t.v., crying big-time over his dalliances with prostitutes. Was he sorry?....Or sorry that he got caught?... Sorry that he betrayed the trust of his friends and family and church, or sorry that his multi-million-dollar "ministry" just took a huge financial hit?..... I don't know...
I do know that he was unwilling to follow good counsel and step down "for a season" to get help with the issues in his life. To me, that means that his tears were pretty much a sham. That's just my opinion, ......based on some good evidence. I saw him on t.v. recently... they didn't "pan" the audience.... for good reason.... there weren't many of them to pan... (You can have tears without real repentance..... and you can have real repentance without tears).
Tears. Do "Real Men" cry?
There are some "evolutionary scientists" who say that it's a sign of being on "top of the evolutionary chain"....that humans are the only "animals" with the ability to cry.
I don't know if that's true or not. Since I don't believe in evolution anyway, it's probably a moot point. I think my cat cried the other day when I accidentally stepped on his tail. They might have been tears of anger since I have a habit of doing that quite often. I do know that cats can cuss. Where that puts them on the "evolutionary chain"... God only knows....
Anyway, for all those who like to engage in arguments over whether it's manly or "sissified" for a guy to shed tears once in awhile..... I have only two words to say.........
It's the shortest verse in the Bible... but it speaks volumes...
John 11: 35
Jesus Wept.
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