The Gambler

"You gotta know when to hold 'em, .. know when to fold 'em,...know when to walk away, ... and know when to .... run"..... (from the song, "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers)....

My wife's father was an old navy man,... served on a merchant ship in World War Two.
He was getting up in years and not in the best of health when he got an invitation to attend a navy reunion in Las Vegas. So... he asked if my wife and I would go with him and be there to help with logistics and such. We had never been to Vegas so we thought it would be a nice thing to do, see a different part of the country, see "Sin City"..... Branson on steroids...
My wife and I are not gamblers...never had the inclination to do so even though "The Boats" had come to our own city a couple of years earlier and had made gambling a big attraction.

Anyway... we went to Vegas.

Walking through one of the hotels, surrounded by One-Armed Bandits, my wife decided to plunk a quarter in one of the machines and give it a whirl.
Well,... don't you know... the first time she did this, out popped about 7o dollars in quarters!
Hey!.... This gambling stuff ain't so bad!.... very cool....
I guess one has to figure if they hit the jackpot on the first try then it must be pretty easy to keep 'er going...
I ended up playing the poker machines and my wife and her mother played the Bandits pretty much the whole time we were there. No time for Navy Reunions when there's loot to win...right?

No...we actually did attend the reunion with her dad and had a good time, even when the ladies in their 70's and 80's came out in their skimpy outfits kicking up their heels and dancing in a chorus line... (although I still do have nightmares about that once in awhile)....
When we arrived back in dear old K.C. my wife and I decided it was time to, perhaps, visit "The Boats"... just to see if they were as exciting as the ones in Los Wages, Nevada.. They were.
I think we spent several months going down and losing our money. Sometimes breaking even, but.. most of the time... losing.
One day we were walking out of one of the casinos and just looked at each other, knowingly... the time had come to face it... we were being foolish. We decided that our money could be better spend having a nice dinner and going to a movie....

All this to say: In the world of "Addiction" I think Gambling doesn't get the respect that it deserves. There is definitely a chemical change that takes place in the brain when you're surrounded by the sights and sounds of the casino machinery.... a rush of adrenalin and dopamine... a "high" if you will. It is very reminiscent of the old "Pavlov's Dog" experimentation. Feed the dog, ring a bell....feed the dog, ring a bell. Keep it up long enough and fairly soon you don't have to feed the dog. The dog simply salivates at the sound of "the bell"....
There are enough bells and whistles in the Casinos to float a pack of German Shepherds....
Thankfully, I recognized the signs, and nipped it in the bud before it got out of control. Some folks don't. Sure, it's "entertaining", but it's also just another avenue into the world of addiction. I know of people who have lost cars, homes, jobs and families to a gambling addiction. I read of a man who committed suicide because he was too embarrassed to face his family and tell them he had gambled away ALL their money (savings, college tuitions, home mortgage,..everything)....

Following is a test that is given to people who think they might have a gambling problem. I hope you will look it over, maybe test yourself if you think this might describe you....and reach out for help if it does. Don't let any addiction ruin your life.. whether it's booze, sex, pot, cocaine,... cigarettes.... (they can shorten your life by 20 years).... food...?

Be careful out there.... the world is a seductive place.....know when to...run



The Test:
1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
3. Did gambling affect your reputation?
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
12. Were you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures?
13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of your family?
14. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?
15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?
16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
18.Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
20. Have you ever considered self-destruction as a result of your gambling?

Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least 7 of these questions.

Co-Dependent.... Part 1

This week's blog gives a big tip'O' The Hat to Sharon Hersh. If you or someone you love is dealing with addiction problems then I highly recommend that you go and get a copy of: "The Last Addiction" by Sharon A. Hersh.



You might be in a Co-Dependent relationship with someone if this describes your life with them....



We....... nag; lecture; scream; holler; cry; beg; bribe; coerce; hover over; protect; accuse; chase after; run away from; try to talk into; try to talk out of; attempt to induce guilt in; seduce; entrap; check on; demonstrate how much we've been hurt; hurt people in return so they'll know how it feels; threaten to hurt ourselves; whip power plays on; deliver ultimatums to; do things for; refuse to do things for; stomp out on; get even with; whine; vent fury on; act helpless; suffer in loud silence; try to please; lie; do sneaky little thing; do sneaky big things; clutch at our hearts and threaten to die; grab our heads and threaten to go crazy; beat on our chests and threaten to kill; enlist the aid of supporters; gauge our words carefully; sleep with; refuse to sleep with; have children with; bargain with; drag to counseling; drag out of counseling; talk mean about; talk mean to; insult; condemn; pray for miracles; pay for miracles; go to places we don't want to go; stay nearby to supervise; dictate; command; complain; write letters about; write letters to; stay home and wait for; go out and look for; call all over looking for; drive down dark alleys at night hoping to see; chase down dark alleys hoping to catch; run down alleys at night to get away from..... placate; provoke; try to make jealous; try to make afraid; remind; inquire; hint; look through pockets; peek into wallets; search dresser drawers; dig through glove boxes; look into toilet tanks; try to look into the future; search through the past; call relatives about; reason with; settle issues once and for all; settle them again; punish; reward; almost give up; try even harder; and a list of other handy maneuvers I've either forgotten or haven't tried yet.....



Many of these behaviors are common relationship issues, but, loving an addict takes everything to a whole new level and can be more than a full-time job. Then we wonder why life with an addict is so..... hard.



To be continued next week.....

12 Steps... the Music CD

During the two years that I was pursuing a degree in Addiction Counseling I did my practicum at Mainstream, in Bonner Springs, Kansas. As a songwriter I often was taken by some of the things discussed in group counseling sessions. Often it inspired me to write a song about a particular subject and then I would sing it for the guys at the center. Most of the time I would have great feedback on the song and even had requests for me to put it on a CD or, at least, make them a copy of the lyrics. It was during these two years that I sat in my little basement recording studio and put together the CD, "12 Steps And a Winding Road"... 15 songs of hope and healing for those in recovery. I wrote or co-wrote half of the songs and culled the other songs from some of my favorite songwriters who I felt had written a song which would tie-in to the message of hope. The CD was completed in 2009 and I now have copies available. While I would love to just give them away (and sometimes that happens), I also would like to recoup my financial investment in the recording, paying other musicians, the extensive artwork (full color booklet with lyrics) and the CD productions costs. If you are interested in purchasing a CD they are available for $15 (shipping and handling included) by sending to: Bob Jenkins, P.O. Box 671, Shawnee Mission, Kansas 66201. You can hear some of the songs at: http://songramp.com/Flyingsheep
Also I would love any opportunities to share my time and talent with any groups, organizations or churches that might be interested. email me at: coloringmoses@yahoo.com

I've enjoyed the journey so far and am looking forward to carrying the message of hope and healing to the hurting and suffering, wherever they may be and wherever the road may lead. God Bless