New Year's Resolutions

It's hard to believe that I started writing this blog over a year ago,... actually, I believe, in November of last year. I had a couple of New Year's Resolutions. One, was to continue to write this 12-Step blog for at least one year. I wanted it to be a blog about life, love and addiction issues. Some of them have been taken from real life, some from the lives of others, favorite authors, movies, friends and family.... a lot of old memories. In a lot of ways it was a cathartic experience, remembering some childhood events and seeing how they helped to shape the person that I am today... some good, some bad, some totally indifferent...
Another resolution I had was to do something positive with my musical talent. Most of you know me as a singer/songwriter. I have produced four CD's worth of recorded music. I found myself with a lot of CD's simply cluttering up my basement shelves. In the book-publishing world they call self-publishing "vanity publishing",.. meaning, that you want to see your work in print and, since no one will actually "publish" you,... you simply publish yourself and have a bunch of books printed.
A couple of years ago I attended a funeral of a person who had "self-published" several books. They had the books stacked-up at the funeral and told folks to take a book or two with them after the funeral. I thought that was a fine idea... but, at the same time, I thought it was sort of sad. This person had accumulated a bunch of books that he had kept in boxes in his basement or closet.
Over the years I have accumulated quite a collection of "self-published" CD's. Last year, one of my resolutions was to try and do something positive with them. I thought about doing a bunch of concerts, raising some money to support a couple of local charitable causes and giving at least a portion of my CD sales away to support these efforts also.
I knocked on a lot of doors.... and, to my amazement, I had a lot of doors slammed in my face!
A lot of my music is Spiritual in nature so I guess I thought that a lot of churches would be open to support what I was doing and would be willing to host a concert. Boy, was I wrong.
I'm still amazed at how closed-off most churches are, doing their own thing, and very much opposed to having anyone outside of their borders come in and do anything different from what they consider "the norm". Perhaps it's simply an indication of how crazy the world has become and how easy it is to want to "circle the wagons". (If you like old Westerns then you know what that means)..... my apology to any Indian readers. Glad we don't do that anymore.)....Not with "wagons" anyway.....
This is not to say that the year was a total wash. I did end up playing a half-dozen such concerts and it was a very rewarding experience. All things being ideal, it should have been twenty or thirty. I still find myself at year's end with a closet full of CD's and a willingness to keep putting one foot in front of the other to try and accomplish my ultimate goal.... to die CD FREE!....(Sort of sounds weird, doesn't it?.... saying it like that)....
That's the thing about New Years Resolutions. We try,... and we do well for a few days.. or weeks,.. and then, .... we mess-up and cave-in..... Whether it's a desire to follow a particular diet and lose weight, give up smoking, drinking, drugging, cat-wrestling,.... whatever. When we fail the first time we find it hard to get up, brush ourselves off, and keep "keepin' on"...
So, despite some past disappointments I have resolved to keep on "keepin' on", committing my desires to God and letting Him have his way with my life... one day at a time. Perhaps I won't be any more successful this year than last year... but, that's o.k. The goal is to keep looking forward and to keep trying to do my best, using the time, talent and abilities that God has given me to try and make it a better world.... better for my friends, family, acquaintances... people I don't know and haven't even met yet. I pray for the grace to keep on going forward, and if I fall down, to get back up again, brush myself off and keep on walking....
Do YOU have some "New Year's Resolution(s)" you are looking forward to keeping?
I wish you success. Most of all, I hope that if you fall-down and break your resolution, I pray that you will get back up and keep moving forward. After all,.... it's just "a day".... it's not your "life"....
And, if I die before the year is out and you happen to attend my funeral,.... grab a few CD's and give them to some friends and family.... and strangers.
I won't mind....really. I think. :-)