Offend...Defined as:
"To affront, hurt the feelings of someone; to arouse feelings of disgust in; to act contrary to law, moral principal etc; to cause resentment. (Websters)
"A brother (or sister) offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle".... Proverbs 18:19
I think I offended someone recently.
I got an email from one of my readers telling me to "take me off your list" for 12stepsandawindingroad.
My immediate reaction was, "Well... fine then... done!".... And I simply deleted their name.
A few days later, as I thought about it a bit more, I wish I would have handled it differently. I wish I would have gotten in touch with this person and asked them exactly what I had said in my blog that offended them. I thought the particular blog that weekend had been pretty innocuous, nothing controversial about it at all (I thought). But, there must have been that one line or two that they read which somehow triggered this reaction.
It's easy to offend someone, even when it's not our intention to do so. There have been cases where I have purposely offended someone just because I didn't like them or their position on a subject and I really didn't care whether they were offended or not. I'm not proud of it, ... I think it's just part of the human (fallen) condition.
A few years ago I had a casual business relationship with a company I did a small amount of work for. One day, the business owner was dealing with a customer in a particularly unhelpful way. I thought I was going to be "helpful" and so I told the business owner that there might have been a better way to handle the situation. Bad move. I offended him. His only thought was that I was trying to tell him how to run his business. I thought of it only as a suggestion,... he took it as a hostile takeover.
A couple of days later I called him and apologized for interfering. His response?... "Yea,.. O.K."... And he never called me again to do any work for him. So, obviously, as King Solomon said in Proverbs 18.... The bars to the castle were locked and in place. There was no winning this person's favor.
The longer I travel down this road of life I see how easily our words, and especially, our motives, can be misconstrued. Even though we may mean well when we say certain things, most of the time trying to be helpful and offer what we consider "constructive criticism", we end up simply offending the other person. Sometimes it seems like life is like walking a tightrope across a great chasm... one small slip and it's, as the old saying goes,... all over but the shouting.
I'm sorry that I offended this particular reader with something I said in a blog. I really wish I had pursued it and found out exactly what it was. Perhaps I could have explained things better, or at least had a dialogue.
I guess when one says more than most about life, love and addiction issues, there are going to be some points of contention. I just hope that next time the person writes me a personal note and we can discuss it in an open, honest fashion. I can always be reached at this email address: coloringmoses@yahoo.com
I hope this email address doesn't offend anyone;.... you know... coloring "Moses".
(Could I be belittling a beloved Bible Character?)....
One never knows ....unless they ask.....
Showing posts with label addiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label addiction. Show all posts
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Friday, July 2, 2010
The Gambler
"You gotta know when to hold 'em, .. know when to fold 'em,...know when to walk away, ... and know when to .... run"..... (from the song, "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers)....
My wife's father was an old navy man,... served on a merchant ship in World War Two.
He was getting up in years and not in the best of health when he got an invitation to attend a navy reunion in Las Vegas. So... he asked if my wife and I would go with him and be there to help with logistics and such. We had never been to Vegas so we thought it would be a nice thing to do, see a different part of the country, see "Sin City"..... Branson on steroids...
My wife and I are not gamblers...never had the inclination to do so even though "The Boats" had come to our own city a couple of years earlier and had made gambling a big attraction.
Anyway... we went to Vegas.
Walking through one of the hotels, surrounded by One-Armed Bandits, my wife decided to plunk a quarter in one of the machines and give it a whirl.
Well,... don't you know... the first time she did this, out popped about 7o dollars in quarters!
Hey!.... This gambling stuff ain't so bad!.... very cool....
I guess one has to figure if they hit the jackpot on the first try then it must be pretty easy to keep 'er going...
I ended up playing the poker machines and my wife and her mother played the Bandits pretty much the whole time we were there. No time for Navy Reunions when there's loot to win...right?
No...we actually did attend the reunion with her dad and had a good time, even when the ladies in their 70's and 80's came out in their skimpy outfits kicking up their heels and dancing in a chorus line... (although I still do have nightmares about that once in awhile)....
When we arrived back in dear old K.C. my wife and I decided it was time to, perhaps, visit "The Boats"... just to see if they were as exciting as the ones in Los Wages, Nevada.. They were.
I think we spent several months going down and losing our money. Sometimes breaking even, but.. most of the time... losing.
One day we were walking out of one of the casinos and just looked at each other, knowingly... the time had come to face it... we were being foolish. We decided that our money could be better spend having a nice dinner and going to a movie....
All this to say: In the world of "Addiction" I think Gambling doesn't get the respect that it deserves. There is definitely a chemical change that takes place in the brain when you're surrounded by the sights and sounds of the casino machinery.... a rush of adrenalin and dopamine... a "high" if you will. It is very reminiscent of the old "Pavlov's Dog" experimentation. Feed the dog, ring a bell....feed the dog, ring a bell. Keep it up long enough and fairly soon you don't have to feed the dog. The dog simply salivates at the sound of "the bell"....
There are enough bells and whistles in the Casinos to float a pack of German Shepherds....
Thankfully, I recognized the signs, and nipped it in the bud before it got out of control. Some folks don't. Sure, it's "entertaining", but it's also just another avenue into the world of addiction. I know of people who have lost cars, homes, jobs and families to a gambling addiction. I read of a man who committed suicide because he was too embarrassed to face his family and tell them he had gambled away ALL their money (savings, college tuitions, home mortgage,..everything)....
Following is a test that is given to people who think they might have a gambling problem. I hope you will look it over, maybe test yourself if you think this might describe you....and reach out for help if it does. Don't let any addiction ruin your life.. whether it's booze, sex, pot, cocaine,... cigarettes.... (they can shorten your life by 20 years).... food...?
Be careful out there.... the world is a seductive place.....know when to...run
The Test:
1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
3. Did gambling affect your reputation?
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
12. Were you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures?
13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of your family?
14. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?
15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?
16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
18.Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
20. Have you ever considered self-destruction as a result of your gambling?
Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least 7 of these questions.
My wife's father was an old navy man,... served on a merchant ship in World War Two.
He was getting up in years and not in the best of health when he got an invitation to attend a navy reunion in Las Vegas. So... he asked if my wife and I would go with him and be there to help with logistics and such. We had never been to Vegas so we thought it would be a nice thing to do, see a different part of the country, see "Sin City"..... Branson on steroids...
My wife and I are not gamblers...never had the inclination to do so even though "The Boats" had come to our own city a couple of years earlier and had made gambling a big attraction.
Anyway... we went to Vegas.
Walking through one of the hotels, surrounded by One-Armed Bandits, my wife decided to plunk a quarter in one of the machines and give it a whirl.
Well,... don't you know... the first time she did this, out popped about 7o dollars in quarters!
Hey!.... This gambling stuff ain't so bad!.... very cool....
I guess one has to figure if they hit the jackpot on the first try then it must be pretty easy to keep 'er going...
I ended up playing the poker machines and my wife and her mother played the Bandits pretty much the whole time we were there. No time for Navy Reunions when there's loot to win...right?
No...we actually did attend the reunion with her dad and had a good time, even when the ladies in their 70's and 80's came out in their skimpy outfits kicking up their heels and dancing in a chorus line... (although I still do have nightmares about that once in awhile)....
When we arrived back in dear old K.C. my wife and I decided it was time to, perhaps, visit "The Boats"... just to see if they were as exciting as the ones in Los Wages, Nevada.. They were.
I think we spent several months going down and losing our money. Sometimes breaking even, but.. most of the time... losing.
One day we were walking out of one of the casinos and just looked at each other, knowingly... the time had come to face it... we were being foolish. We decided that our money could be better spend having a nice dinner and going to a movie....
All this to say: In the world of "Addiction" I think Gambling doesn't get the respect that it deserves. There is definitely a chemical change that takes place in the brain when you're surrounded by the sights and sounds of the casino machinery.... a rush of adrenalin and dopamine... a "high" if you will. It is very reminiscent of the old "Pavlov's Dog" experimentation. Feed the dog, ring a bell....feed the dog, ring a bell. Keep it up long enough and fairly soon you don't have to feed the dog. The dog simply salivates at the sound of "the bell"....
There are enough bells and whistles in the Casinos to float a pack of German Shepherds....
Thankfully, I recognized the signs, and nipped it in the bud before it got out of control. Some folks don't. Sure, it's "entertaining", but it's also just another avenue into the world of addiction. I know of people who have lost cars, homes, jobs and families to a gambling addiction. I read of a man who committed suicide because he was too embarrassed to face his family and tell them he had gambled away ALL their money (savings, college tuitions, home mortgage,..everything)....
Following is a test that is given to people who think they might have a gambling problem. I hope you will look it over, maybe test yourself if you think this might describe you....and reach out for help if it does. Don't let any addiction ruin your life.. whether it's booze, sex, pot, cocaine,... cigarettes.... (they can shorten your life by 20 years).... food...?
Be careful out there.... the world is a seductive place.....know when to...run
The Test:
1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
3. Did gambling affect your reputation?
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
12. Were you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures?
13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of your family?
14. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?
15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?
16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
18.Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
20. Have you ever considered self-destruction as a result of your gambling?
Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least 7 of these questions.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
My Life In A Convent
Yes, it's true. I use to live in a Catholic Convent...
A few years ago we bought a house and were in the process of selling the house we were in and moving to our new home. Unfortunately, the timing was off and we sold the house we were in and had to move out before we could get into the house we had just bought. Quite a quandary.
The Lutheran Church I grew-up in had just purchased this old Convent and was in the process of remodeling it for a new ministry. We inquired about perhaps moving in there for a few weeks until we could get into our new home ...and they agreed. They figured it was good to have someone there to look after the place until they could get their remodeling crew all lined-up. So they gave us the keys and we moved right in...
It was a huge place. It almost felt haunted because it was so big and old and quiet and it had so many rooms. Our cat went into a hole in the wall and we didn't see her for 3 days. When she finally emerged she was totally covered in dirt and cobwebs.... weird...
We slept upstairs and every morning I would say to my wife, "Did you hear that weird organ music in the middle of the night?"... It would always freak her out.
My two boys were pretty young, 8 and 10 years, I believe. It was cold that time of year so we couldn't do much outside. There was a fairly large room with built-in chairs on each side. I might have been The Chapel... probably was. Anyway, my kids and I invented this game that we played in the chapel. We called it "Peakball". I don't know how it got it's name. You know how a child's mind has such a goofy imagination. Maybe even one of my kids named it... can't say for sure.Peakball was just an old sock taped-up with masking tape. We played it like a soccer game, where one person had to kick the "ball" and hit the opposite wall (being guarded by another player) to score a point. It was great fun... I thought it might be sort of "sacrilegious", being in the old Chapel and all. I thought I heard God's voice one day while we were playing.... "He shoots!... He Scores!"...
After that I thought it was cool with Him.
I got up to shave one morning, went into the bathroom, and found that the mirror had been painted over....strange. So, I went into another bathroom (I think there were about 7 bathrooms in this place)...and THAT bathroom mirror had been painted over also!... It was the same with ALL the bathrooms... mirrors painted over... I must have gone out to my car to shave in the rear view mirror. I asked someone about this phenomenon and they told me that the "Sisters" who lived there painted over all the mirrors. They didn't want to look at themselves. They though it would be make them "prideful". They wanted to stay humble. They even had a little round tube thingy that, if they got a meal or message or anything from the outside world, whatever was delivered was stuck into this slot and they would spin it around into the next room to be received... so they never actually let anyone "see" them....or them see anyone else!..
You know, ... it's a weird thing about pride. The Bible tells us that it's embedded into the human heart. There's "good" pride,.. like when your kid hits a home-run in little league and you're proud of him (or her),.. and then there's this "bad" pride where you think you're pretty hot stuff, God's gift to women, or men, or humanity... kind of feeling.
Some people look in a mirror and are prideful, while others can look into that very same mirror and see nothing but shame. I use to be one of those people.... the ones who see shame.. and blame... and guilt...when they look into a mirror.
That was before I realized that I had been forgiven by God for all the crappy stuff I had done. He had forgiven me simply because I asked Him to. The hard part for me wasn't "Has God forgiven me?".... but, "Have I forgiven myself?"..... I think we're a lot harder on ourselves than God even thinks of being. Nowadays I can look into the mirror just fine. My life has been truly blessed. I can say to the man in the mirror, "You're a jerk. You don't deserve any of this!".... and the man looking back at me always says, "No, you use to be a jerk, and too frequently you still do jerky stuff, but, you're not the man you once were. And, yes, it is true that you DON'T deserve any of this good stuff!... it's all grace. Just don't forget, ....It's ALL grace...
So... live with it..."
A few years ago we bought a house and were in the process of selling the house we were in and moving to our new home. Unfortunately, the timing was off and we sold the house we were in and had to move out before we could get into the house we had just bought. Quite a quandary.
The Lutheran Church I grew-up in had just purchased this old Convent and was in the process of remodeling it for a new ministry. We inquired about perhaps moving in there for a few weeks until we could get into our new home ...and they agreed. They figured it was good to have someone there to look after the place until they could get their remodeling crew all lined-up. So they gave us the keys and we moved right in...
It was a huge place. It almost felt haunted because it was so big and old and quiet and it had so many rooms. Our cat went into a hole in the wall and we didn't see her for 3 days. When she finally emerged she was totally covered in dirt and cobwebs.... weird...
We slept upstairs and every morning I would say to my wife, "Did you hear that weird organ music in the middle of the night?"... It would always freak her out.
My two boys were pretty young, 8 and 10 years, I believe. It was cold that time of year so we couldn't do much outside. There was a fairly large room with built-in chairs on each side. I might have been The Chapel... probably was. Anyway, my kids and I invented this game that we played in the chapel. We called it "Peakball". I don't know how it got it's name. You know how a child's mind has such a goofy imagination. Maybe even one of my kids named it... can't say for sure.Peakball was just an old sock taped-up with masking tape. We played it like a soccer game, where one person had to kick the "ball" and hit the opposite wall (being guarded by another player) to score a point. It was great fun... I thought it might be sort of "sacrilegious", being in the old Chapel and all. I thought I heard God's voice one day while we were playing.... "He shoots!... He Scores!"...
After that I thought it was cool with Him.
I got up to shave one morning, went into the bathroom, and found that the mirror had been painted over....strange. So, I went into another bathroom (I think there were about 7 bathrooms in this place)...and THAT bathroom mirror had been painted over also!... It was the same with ALL the bathrooms... mirrors painted over... I must have gone out to my car to shave in the rear view mirror. I asked someone about this phenomenon and they told me that the "Sisters" who lived there painted over all the mirrors. They didn't want to look at themselves. They though it would be make them "prideful". They wanted to stay humble. They even had a little round tube thingy that, if they got a meal or message or anything from the outside world, whatever was delivered was stuck into this slot and they would spin it around into the next room to be received... so they never actually let anyone "see" them....or them see anyone else!..
You know, ... it's a weird thing about pride. The Bible tells us that it's embedded into the human heart. There's "good" pride,.. like when your kid hits a home-run in little league and you're proud of him (or her),.. and then there's this "bad" pride where you think you're pretty hot stuff, God's gift to women, or men, or humanity... kind of feeling.
Some people look in a mirror and are prideful, while others can look into that very same mirror and see nothing but shame. I use to be one of those people.... the ones who see shame.. and blame... and guilt...when they look into a mirror.
That was before I realized that I had been forgiven by God for all the crappy stuff I had done. He had forgiven me simply because I asked Him to. The hard part for me wasn't "Has God forgiven me?".... but, "Have I forgiven myself?"..... I think we're a lot harder on ourselves than God even thinks of being. Nowadays I can look into the mirror just fine. My life has been truly blessed. I can say to the man in the mirror, "You're a jerk. You don't deserve any of this!".... and the man looking back at me always says, "No, you use to be a jerk, and too frequently you still do jerky stuff, but, you're not the man you once were. And, yes, it is true that you DON'T deserve any of this good stuff!... it's all grace. Just don't forget, ....It's ALL grace...
So... live with it..."
Plastic Surgery
I had to go in for a doctor visit the other day... so, I took along a really good book to read (Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller... I highly recommend it), and was looking forward to some quiet time while I was waiting for my name to be called.
Suddenly, right at 9 a.m on the button, the television, bolted to the wall directly above my head , began blaring..."The Regis And Kelly Show"!.... loud enough that folks could hear it all the way through the building and the McDonald's about a block away.
I tried to just keep reading and simply ignore the inane blathering above my head. But, something about their conversation caught my attention. They suddenly started talking about "plastic surgery",.. and how, breast enhancements were becoming "passe". The NEW trend was in "calf" enhancement and , "upper arm" implants. (I kid you not).... Folks had commented so much on Michelle Obama's sleeveless blouses and how great her "arms" looked that now women wanted arms like hers... or "calves" like.... I don't know..... calves?.....(the barnyard variety)....?
Anyway,... it made me almost sick,.. and mad. They were talking about all these implants and I was thinking to myself, "What they really NEED is a BRAIN implant!"....
I had recently seen a program on t.v. where entire families in Asia were living on floating boats, eating fish out of a river full of diesel fuel, garbage and human waste. Raising families on 5 bucks a day by selling fish from that same nasty river. And here we are, worried about how we "look". Amazing.
Plastic surgery. That's a good name for it. Plastic.... Like when something isn't really real. We use to say, "Hey, is that real?".... and someone would answer forlornly, "No, sorry,...it's just plastic".
I think it's a real gauge of where our society is. We, as a society, are so fixated on "appearance". Women have to have bigger (smaller sometimes, but most of the time "bigger")...breasts, and firmer "butts", and better skin and nails and teeth and eyelashes....calves and upper arms. Men have to have more hair, six-pack abs, bigger.... well, you figure it out.... The only thing it seems we don't need bigger or more of .... ego.
I realize I'm venting. I normally try to write a blog that is more.... more,... uplifting?....
But, sometimes you just gotta vent. All I'm saying is: If you are one of those people thinkin about having plastic surgery (unless you've been in a fire or accident and need to be restored to some "normalcy".... please, I beg you... don't!... That goes for face-lifts too. Have you actually "seen" Kenny Rogers lately? His wax figure in Branson, Missouri looks more lifelike that he does.
We all love Martin Luther King Jr. We love to think about what a great man he was, how he changed segregation, how he stood up (and was persecuted for standing up for) some amazing things. We love to quote him. It makes us sound kind of cool, ...I think...
Martin Luther King Jr. said: "A man (or woman) should not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
I agree. I also think we shouldn't judge "ourselves" by the content of what is "under" the skin, especially Silicon Valley "implants". We all need to work on our "character". We need "character" implants.
That's what I love about God and The Church, real community, family, and 12-Step Programs. They help develop character. They don't care about your bra size....
Someday, if God ever asks me, "What did you do with your life, .... I don't want to stand there like and idiot and say, "Well, let's see... I got these really cool hair implants.... and I got these great looking abs...and "calves"... don't forget those!... Spent a fortune on them!"....
And God would look at me sadly and say something, like.... "I see... but, I don't think you really understood the question. The question was: "What did you do with your.... LIFE"?.....
Suddenly, right at 9 a.m on the button, the television, bolted to the wall directly above my head , began blaring..."The Regis And Kelly Show"!.... loud enough that folks could hear it all the way through the building and the McDonald's about a block away.
I tried to just keep reading and simply ignore the inane blathering above my head. But, something about their conversation caught my attention. They suddenly started talking about "plastic surgery",.. and how, breast enhancements were becoming "passe". The NEW trend was in "calf" enhancement and , "upper arm" implants. (I kid you not).... Folks had commented so much on Michelle Obama's sleeveless blouses and how great her "arms" looked that now women wanted arms like hers... or "calves" like.... I don't know..... calves?.....(the barnyard variety)....?
Anyway,... it made me almost sick,.. and mad. They were talking about all these implants and I was thinking to myself, "What they really NEED is a BRAIN implant!"....
I had recently seen a program on t.v. where entire families in Asia were living on floating boats, eating fish out of a river full of diesel fuel, garbage and human waste. Raising families on 5 bucks a day by selling fish from that same nasty river. And here we are, worried about how we "look". Amazing.
Plastic surgery. That's a good name for it. Plastic.... Like when something isn't really real. We use to say, "Hey, is that real?".... and someone would answer forlornly, "No, sorry,...it's just plastic".
I think it's a real gauge of where our society is. We, as a society, are so fixated on "appearance". Women have to have bigger (smaller sometimes, but most of the time "bigger")...breasts, and firmer "butts", and better skin and nails and teeth and eyelashes....calves and upper arms. Men have to have more hair, six-pack abs, bigger.... well, you figure it out.... The only thing it seems we don't need bigger or more of .... ego.
I realize I'm venting. I normally try to write a blog that is more.... more,... uplifting?....
But, sometimes you just gotta vent. All I'm saying is: If you are one of those people thinkin about having plastic surgery (unless you've been in a fire or accident and need to be restored to some "normalcy".... please, I beg you... don't!... That goes for face-lifts too. Have you actually "seen" Kenny Rogers lately? His wax figure in Branson, Missouri looks more lifelike that he does.
We all love Martin Luther King Jr. We love to think about what a great man he was, how he changed segregation, how he stood up (and was persecuted for standing up for) some amazing things. We love to quote him. It makes us sound kind of cool, ...I think...
Martin Luther King Jr. said: "A man (or woman) should not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
I agree. I also think we shouldn't judge "ourselves" by the content of what is "under" the skin, especially Silicon Valley "implants". We all need to work on our "character". We need "character" implants.
That's what I love about God and The Church, real community, family, and 12-Step Programs. They help develop character. They don't care about your bra size....
Someday, if God ever asks me, "What did you do with your life, .... I don't want to stand there like and idiot and say, "Well, let's see... I got these really cool hair implants.... and I got these great looking abs...and "calves"... don't forget those!... Spent a fortune on them!"....
And God would look at me sadly and say something, like.... "I see... but, I don't think you really understood the question. The question was: "What did you do with your.... LIFE"?.....
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Uncle Ray's Potato Chips
It had been a long day of recording. I had been laying down tracks for my "Flying Sheep" CD, had spent a good part of the day recording sheep sounds at the local fairgrounds (that's a whole 'nother blog right there)..... and so I really hadn't eaten much that day. I was driving home late at night and stopped into the local "Get It And Get Out" store... (That's what I like to call those places). It was just a truck stop/mini mart type of thing.... Anyway, being the health-food nut that I am, I headed straight for the candy/potato chips/beef jerky/Ho-Ho's aisle...
I was rifling through a display of potato chips and saw that they had some called, "Ray's Potato Chips". Hmmmm... never tried those before, ... so I grabbed a bag and headed for the checkout. And then,... while I was walking towards the counter, I just happened to turn the bag around and read the back of it. I was shocked at what I saw. I was dumfounded. I was dismayed... I was taken aback, I was blown-away...... (O.K.., I think you get the picture)..... It's a lot easier if I just let you "read" the back of the potato chip bag for yourself:......so here goes....
"On a very cold January day in Detroit, Bob Jenkins and a fellow Detroit Edison electrician were driving to a job site. Bob saw two young men by the roadside and asked his buddy to stop the truck. They were both shivering. Neither young man had a coat, sweater, or gloves. They looked very cold. Bob took off his coat and put it on one of them and handed his knit cap and gloves to the other. When he got back in the truck, his buddy said, "What are you going to do? We have to work outside at the Sub Station." Bob said, "I'll be o.k."
Bob has always been my hero. I have seen his kindness and consideration for others all my life.
My brother is now with our Lord Jesus Christ. He is experiencing what our Lord has promised us all,... life everlasting in Paradise for all who believe in Him."
It was hard for me to fathom that someone would actually write a eulogy for his brother and then have it printed and distributed nation-wide on a bag of potato chips! Ray must have really loved his brother...
As another "Bob Jenkins" it was a sober reminder that one day, I too, shall shed this mortal coil (don't ask me about "mortal coil" stuff.... I read it somewhere and it sounded kind of cool). Anyway....I just pray that IF someone takes the time to write a eulogy for me that they have noticed the changes in my life over the years, my feeble attempts to live-out the God-given life that I am blessed with... to hopefully to have seen Jesus working in me. As someone once said, "If I'm ever arrested for being a Christian, I hope there's enough evidence to get me convicted".
Thanks Ray, for reminding me of my tenuous grip on this life, and the miracle that awaits in the life to come.... eternal life through Jesus Christ.
I had to smile at Ray's parting words:
"You have a choice when choosing potato chips and snacks. From my family to yours, thank you for choosing Uncle Ray's."
I was rifling through a display of potato chips and saw that they had some called, "Ray's Potato Chips". Hmmmm... never tried those before, ... so I grabbed a bag and headed for the checkout. And then,... while I was walking towards the counter, I just happened to turn the bag around and read the back of it. I was shocked at what I saw. I was dumfounded. I was dismayed... I was taken aback, I was blown-away...... (O.K.., I think you get the picture)..... It's a lot easier if I just let you "read" the back of the potato chip bag for yourself:......so here goes....
"On a very cold January day in Detroit, Bob Jenkins and a fellow Detroit Edison electrician were driving to a job site. Bob saw two young men by the roadside and asked his buddy to stop the truck. They were both shivering. Neither young man had a coat, sweater, or gloves. They looked very cold. Bob took off his coat and put it on one of them and handed his knit cap and gloves to the other. When he got back in the truck, his buddy said, "What are you going to do? We have to work outside at the Sub Station." Bob said, "I'll be o.k."
Bob has always been my hero. I have seen his kindness and consideration for others all my life.
My brother is now with our Lord Jesus Christ. He is experiencing what our Lord has promised us all,... life everlasting in Paradise for all who believe in Him."
It was hard for me to fathom that someone would actually write a eulogy for his brother and then have it printed and distributed nation-wide on a bag of potato chips! Ray must have really loved his brother...
As another "Bob Jenkins" it was a sober reminder that one day, I too, shall shed this mortal coil (don't ask me about "mortal coil" stuff.... I read it somewhere and it sounded kind of cool). Anyway....I just pray that IF someone takes the time to write a eulogy for me that they have noticed the changes in my life over the years, my feeble attempts to live-out the God-given life that I am blessed with... to hopefully to have seen Jesus working in me. As someone once said, "If I'm ever arrested for being a Christian, I hope there's enough evidence to get me convicted".
Thanks Ray, for reminding me of my tenuous grip on this life, and the miracle that awaits in the life to come.... eternal life through Jesus Christ.
I had to smile at Ray's parting words:
"You have a choice when choosing potato chips and snacks. From my family to yours, thank you for choosing Uncle Ray's."
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Co-Dependent Part 2
We had a middle-age woman in our family counseling session talking about how she would get in her car at night and cruise the part of town where there was a lot of drugs and crime, hoping to find her son, hoping to rescue him. She could imagine herself storming the "drug-house" in the middle of the night, scooping up her son, bringing him home, nursing him back to health, ... if she could only "rescue" him..... all would be right with the world.
Parents, especially women, are more often than not, lead by the heart... and are often led into this type of insane behavior. Fathers, I believe, are just as affected by a son or daughter lost into the world of drugs, but they tend to keep their emotions more bottled-up inside. Someone has to be the "strong one" and try to keep things in control.
Life with an addict, whether it's a son, daughter, husband, wife, (father or mother),...even a close friend, can become a roller-coaster of ride of emotions. We don't respond well when we can't "control" the situation. We tend to so immerse ourselves into the lives of those we want to control that we fail to look after ourselves in the process.
It's been scientifically proven that someone who is in a co-dependent relationship with an addict often becomes as sick, or sometimes, more sick, than the addict themselves. The addict is happy to stay on the "Chemical Vacation" and is oblivious to the hurt and anxiety that they are causing to those they love. The non-addict family member (at least not chemically an addict), is caught up in all the emotions of hurt, anger, betrayal, frustration, worry,...etc., but, they don't have the same escape from reality that the addict has. This can manifest itself in physical symptoms such as migraine headaches, ulcers, muscle spasms, spastic colon, more colds and flu, sinus conditons, ...etc., ...just a general decline in physical health from all the worry and sleepless nights and anxiety about the future. Waiting for that 3 A.M. phone call from the police... or the hospital... night after night after night.....can take it's toll.
When an addict finally reaches their "bottom" and gets into the process of recovery, they normally get connected to a healthy support system (such as Alcoholics Anonymous), where they can learn about their disease, the recovery process, and find tools to help them navigate the path ahead. For the co-dependent family member this is just as important... to find a healthy support system... to help them understand the dynamics of addiction and the role they should play in supporting (and often NOT supporting), the addict in their life. Whether the addict ever seeks help of not, it is vitally important for the family to be involved in a family support group or some type. Family members need to be counseled in effective ways to deal with the ongoing problems associated with having an addict/alcoholic loved-one. Al-Anon and Alateen are two very important programs for family members.
The bottom line is this: We, whoever we may be, or even how much we care and try to do, do not have the power to control the life of another person. This is a hard truth to accept. Often, in our efforts to "control" the addict/alcoholic, we are actually making it harder for that person to seek the help they so desperately need. We don't help the addict by constantly bailing him or her out of bad situations which are caused by their addiction. Just like the addict eventually has to do, family members need to learn to "Let go and let God" be in control.
There is a lot of good information on the internet that speaks about Co-Dependency. If you find yourself relating to this situation I hope you will do some research on the subject, reach out and get help for yourself and the other family members who are suffering ...along with the addict. Addiction... IS...a family disease.....
Parents, especially women, are more often than not, lead by the heart... and are often led into this type of insane behavior. Fathers, I believe, are just as affected by a son or daughter lost into the world of drugs, but they tend to keep their emotions more bottled-up inside. Someone has to be the "strong one" and try to keep things in control.
Life with an addict, whether it's a son, daughter, husband, wife, (father or mother),...even a close friend, can become a roller-coaster of ride of emotions. We don't respond well when we can't "control" the situation. We tend to so immerse ourselves into the lives of those we want to control that we fail to look after ourselves in the process.
It's been scientifically proven that someone who is in a co-dependent relationship with an addict often becomes as sick, or sometimes, more sick, than the addict themselves. The addict is happy to stay on the "Chemical Vacation" and is oblivious to the hurt and anxiety that they are causing to those they love. The non-addict family member (at least not chemically an addict), is caught up in all the emotions of hurt, anger, betrayal, frustration, worry,...etc., but, they don't have the same escape from reality that the addict has. This can manifest itself in physical symptoms such as migraine headaches, ulcers, muscle spasms, spastic colon, more colds and flu, sinus conditons, ...etc., ...just a general decline in physical health from all the worry and sleepless nights and anxiety about the future. Waiting for that 3 A.M. phone call from the police... or the hospital... night after night after night.....can take it's toll.
When an addict finally reaches their "bottom" and gets into the process of recovery, they normally get connected to a healthy support system (such as Alcoholics Anonymous), where they can learn about their disease, the recovery process, and find tools to help them navigate the path ahead. For the co-dependent family member this is just as important... to find a healthy support system... to help them understand the dynamics of addiction and the role they should play in supporting (and often NOT supporting), the addict in their life. Whether the addict ever seeks help of not, it is vitally important for the family to be involved in a family support group or some type. Family members need to be counseled in effective ways to deal with the ongoing problems associated with having an addict/alcoholic loved-one. Al-Anon and Alateen are two very important programs for family members.
The bottom line is this: We, whoever we may be, or even how much we care and try to do, do not have the power to control the life of another person. This is a hard truth to accept. Often, in our efforts to "control" the addict/alcoholic, we are actually making it harder for that person to seek the help they so desperately need. We don't help the addict by constantly bailing him or her out of bad situations which are caused by their addiction. Just like the addict eventually has to do, family members need to learn to "Let go and let God" be in control.
There is a lot of good information on the internet that speaks about Co-Dependency. If you find yourself relating to this situation I hope you will do some research on the subject, reach out and get help for yourself and the other family members who are suffering ...along with the addict. Addiction... IS...a family disease.....
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Co-Dependent.... Part 1
This week's blog gives a big tip'O' The Hat to Sharon Hersh. If you or someone you love is dealing with addiction problems then I highly recommend that you go and get a copy of: "The Last Addiction" by Sharon A. Hersh.
You might be in a Co-Dependent relationship with someone if this describes your life with them....
We....... nag; lecture; scream; holler; cry; beg; bribe; coerce; hover over; protect; accuse; chase after; run away from; try to talk into; try to talk out of; attempt to induce guilt in; seduce; entrap; check on; demonstrate how much we've been hurt; hurt people in return so they'll know how it feels; threaten to hurt ourselves; whip power plays on; deliver ultimatums to; do things for; refuse to do things for; stomp out on; get even with; whine; vent fury on; act helpless; suffer in loud silence; try to please; lie; do sneaky little thing; do sneaky big things; clutch at our hearts and threaten to die; grab our heads and threaten to go crazy; beat on our chests and threaten to kill; enlist the aid of supporters; gauge our words carefully; sleep with; refuse to sleep with; have children with; bargain with; drag to counseling; drag out of counseling; talk mean about; talk mean to; insult; condemn; pray for miracles; pay for miracles; go to places we don't want to go; stay nearby to supervise; dictate; command; complain; write letters about; write letters to; stay home and wait for; go out and look for; call all over looking for; drive down dark alleys at night hoping to see; chase down dark alleys hoping to catch; run down alleys at night to get away from..... placate; provoke; try to make jealous; try to make afraid; remind; inquire; hint; look through pockets; peek into wallets; search dresser drawers; dig through glove boxes; look into toilet tanks; try to look into the future; search through the past; call relatives about; reason with; settle issues once and for all; settle them again; punish; reward; almost give up; try even harder; and a list of other handy maneuvers I've either forgotten or haven't tried yet.....
Many of these behaviors are common relationship issues, but, loving an addict takes everything to a whole new level and can be more than a full-time job. Then we wonder why life with an addict is so..... hard.
To be continued next week.....
You might be in a Co-Dependent relationship with someone if this describes your life with them....
We....... nag; lecture; scream; holler; cry; beg; bribe; coerce; hover over; protect; accuse; chase after; run away from; try to talk into; try to talk out of; attempt to induce guilt in; seduce; entrap; check on; demonstrate how much we've been hurt; hurt people in return so they'll know how it feels; threaten to hurt ourselves; whip power plays on; deliver ultimatums to; do things for; refuse to do things for; stomp out on; get even with; whine; vent fury on; act helpless; suffer in loud silence; try to please; lie; do sneaky little thing; do sneaky big things; clutch at our hearts and threaten to die; grab our heads and threaten to go crazy; beat on our chests and threaten to kill; enlist the aid of supporters; gauge our words carefully; sleep with; refuse to sleep with; have children with; bargain with; drag to counseling; drag out of counseling; talk mean about; talk mean to; insult; condemn; pray for miracles; pay for miracles; go to places we don't want to go; stay nearby to supervise; dictate; command; complain; write letters about; write letters to; stay home and wait for; go out and look for; call all over looking for; drive down dark alleys at night hoping to see; chase down dark alleys hoping to catch; run down alleys at night to get away from..... placate; provoke; try to make jealous; try to make afraid; remind; inquire; hint; look through pockets; peek into wallets; search dresser drawers; dig through glove boxes; look into toilet tanks; try to look into the future; search through the past; call relatives about; reason with; settle issues once and for all; settle them again; punish; reward; almost give up; try even harder; and a list of other handy maneuvers I've either forgotten or haven't tried yet.....
Many of these behaviors are common relationship issues, but, loving an addict takes everything to a whole new level and can be more than a full-time job. Then we wonder why life with an addict is so..... hard.
To be continued next week.....
Friday, April 2, 2010
The Women Of Easter
Every year, during the Easter Season, Christians around the world celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Some believe in a literal, physical resurrection and see Christ's Resurrection as a precursor of things to come... a literal, physical resurrection for ALL people. Then, on the flip side, there are a lot of folks who believe that the resurrection story is simply a metaphor... just as springtime signals a resurrection from the death-like grip of the winter season. Perhaps it is. Perhaps it is both. It's up to each individual to decide for themself what they choose to accept as fact and what they choose to accept as fiction.
I've read through the account of the resurrection in the Gospels dozens of times over the years and each time it seems there are things to consider that I had never seen or contemplated before. One of those things is the involvement of the women in the story of the resurrection.
In first century Palestine, women were considered "second class citizens". They were more or less included in the same category as the slaves of that era. They couldn't vote on anything and they couldn't testify in a trial because their testimony would never be accepted in any legal matter.
What I find most interesting about the gospel accounts (Matthew chapter 28, Mark chapter 16, Luke chapter 25 and John chapter 20).... all four gospels are written by men and each account gives the testimony that it was "women" who first encountered the resurrected Jesus, and it was the "women" who first actually believed it was true. The "men" needed a lot more convincing. All four gospels are written to be read as historical, factual narratives as to the events surrounding the life, death and resurrection of Christ. Mathew, Mark, Luke and John are trying to convince us that what happened, actually happened.
Now... here's the puzzler: If these guys were trying to "make up" an elaborate, almost unbelievable story, simply to embellish a fairy-tale, it seems ludicrous that they would make the chief witnesses (or at least the "first" witnesses) of the resurrection.... women. I can almost hear the conversation the writers might have with themselves: "Now, if I say it was 'women' who were the first witnesses of the resurrection, then I will have lost all credibility with my readers. Maybe I should just leave them out of the story.... Maybe I should just say it was 'Peter' or 'John' or 'Bubba the gardener' or 'Phil the tombstone-maker' to whom Jesus first appeared. Yeah, that's the ticket!... But ...then again, ...that wouldn't be the 'truth'....Do I want to write the truth.. or do I want to write my version of what I would have liked to have had happen?.... I could make MY version of the truth much more acceptable and actually 'believable.' " What to do... what to do....?
I think it was quite a dilemma for those first-century evangelists....
Personally, I'm glad they wrote it the way they did.... just told it the way it happened... and, as we say now in these modern times, "Let the chips fall where they may"... To a first-century writer, I think it was a tough decision to make.
I'm glad winter is finally over. It's been a rough one. Spring looks mighty good to me this year....
Hope you all have a great week ahead of you....
For those of you living here in K.C. or the surrounding area, I will be playing this coming Friday at Homer's Coffeehouse in Overland Park.. 7:30.. Come on out if you can....
I've read through the account of the resurrection in the Gospels dozens of times over the years and each time it seems there are things to consider that I had never seen or contemplated before. One of those things is the involvement of the women in the story of the resurrection.
In first century Palestine, women were considered "second class citizens". They were more or less included in the same category as the slaves of that era. They couldn't vote on anything and they couldn't testify in a trial because their testimony would never be accepted in any legal matter.
What I find most interesting about the gospel accounts (Matthew chapter 28, Mark chapter 16, Luke chapter 25 and John chapter 20).... all four gospels are written by men and each account gives the testimony that it was "women" who first encountered the resurrected Jesus, and it was the "women" who first actually believed it was true. The "men" needed a lot more convincing. All four gospels are written to be read as historical, factual narratives as to the events surrounding the life, death and resurrection of Christ. Mathew, Mark, Luke and John are trying to convince us that what happened, actually happened.
Now... here's the puzzler: If these guys were trying to "make up" an elaborate, almost unbelievable story, simply to embellish a fairy-tale, it seems ludicrous that they would make the chief witnesses (or at least the "first" witnesses) of the resurrection.... women. I can almost hear the conversation the writers might have with themselves: "Now, if I say it was 'women' who were the first witnesses of the resurrection, then I will have lost all credibility with my readers. Maybe I should just leave them out of the story.... Maybe I should just say it was 'Peter' or 'John' or 'Bubba the gardener' or 'Phil the tombstone-maker' to whom Jesus first appeared. Yeah, that's the ticket!... But ...then again, ...that wouldn't be the 'truth'....Do I want to write the truth.. or do I want to write my version of what I would have liked to have had happen?.... I could make MY version of the truth much more acceptable and actually 'believable.' " What to do... what to do....?
I think it was quite a dilemma for those first-century evangelists....
Personally, I'm glad they wrote it the way they did.... just told it the way it happened... and, as we say now in these modern times, "Let the chips fall where they may"... To a first-century writer, I think it was a tough decision to make.
I'm glad winter is finally over. It's been a rough one. Spring looks mighty good to me this year....
Hope you all have a great week ahead of you....
For those of you living here in K.C. or the surrounding area, I will be playing this coming Friday at Homer's Coffeehouse in Overland Park.. 7:30.. Come on out if you can....
Sunday, March 28, 2010
The "One Thing" Rule
I'm a songwriter. Over the years I had aquired a lot of books that are supposed to tell me how to become a "successful" writer. By "successful" I know they mean..... makin' MONEY with your music!.... I was looking over the list of book authors one day and suddenly realized that most of them had names that I never see on the Billboard Top 100 Chart listed as writers on any of the songs. Well.... duh.... I guess if I never write a hit song at least I can write a BOOK about how to write hit songs. I'll title it "How To (Not)...the "not" being in really, really, really.... small print....Write A Hit Song!....
Anyway.... one thing I DID get from one of the books with this advice: "You should do "one thing" every day towards making yourself a better (read..."successful").. songwriter. That "one thing" doesn't have to be anything really big. The author (who actually HAD a couple of fairly sizeable hit songs)... said it could be something as simple as.... write down a song title,... buy a little tape recorder to record your ideas on,... change your guitar strings,... write or call a music publisher and try to start making a connection,....buy a book on "How To Become A HIT Songwriter!"..... etc.. I thought it was pretty good advice, actually, good advice no matter what your particular hobby or aspiration might be.
Well... I then got to thinking about how that was good advice simply for living. In an earlier blog I wrote called, "Barn Building" (you can go back and read it if you like),... I said how I wanted to make this a year of trying to make a difference in other folks lives, trying to be more positive and more helpful and less negative and complaining. Some days I'm fairly successful. Other days.... well, ....let's not go there right now......
So, this book got me to thinking that I should try to do "one thing" every day to make myself a better human being. And, it doesn't have to be something "really big". I could start out simply by carrying a 300 pound woman down a thousand foot ladder to rescue her from a raging, burning building.... (o.k. maybe that's not a good example)....
I COULD start by simply doing things like: holding the door open for someone at the supermarket.... calling a friend to check on him/her to see how they're doing..... writing a thank you note to someone.... telling the waitress at the I-Hop that she's doing a great job and leaving a nice tip.....giving my wife a hug, just for putting up with me... (that will really freak her out)....
The "one thing" doesn't have to be earth-shattering... but added up, over time, I think it could be at least, in some small way, world-changing for ME. I'm sure as you're reading this you can think of lots of "little things" you can do today at home or at work or at the local market to make someone else's life a little brighter. I'm at least willing to give it a try. Some days I know I'll fail.. but some days I know I will make a difference. And,... some day.. I WILL write a HIT song! ( I say this because my publisher reads my blogs..... Hi Patricia!)..... And today I just want to say "one thing"... thanks for being my publisher and....friend.....I appreciate all you do! (Now, get out there and pitch, pitch, pitch....)...... I hope everyone has a great week!
Anyway.... one thing I DID get from one of the books with this advice: "You should do "one thing" every day towards making yourself a better (read..."successful").. songwriter. That "one thing" doesn't have to be anything really big. The author (who actually HAD a couple of fairly sizeable hit songs)... said it could be something as simple as.... write down a song title,... buy a little tape recorder to record your ideas on,... change your guitar strings,... write or call a music publisher and try to start making a connection,....buy a book on "How To Become A HIT Songwriter!"..... etc.. I thought it was pretty good advice, actually, good advice no matter what your particular hobby or aspiration might be.
Well... I then got to thinking about how that was good advice simply for living. In an earlier blog I wrote called, "Barn Building" (you can go back and read it if you like),... I said how I wanted to make this a year of trying to make a difference in other folks lives, trying to be more positive and more helpful and less negative and complaining. Some days I'm fairly successful. Other days.... well, ....let's not go there right now......
So, this book got me to thinking that I should try to do "one thing" every day to make myself a better human being. And, it doesn't have to be something "really big". I could start out simply by carrying a 300 pound woman down a thousand foot ladder to rescue her from a raging, burning building.... (o.k. maybe that's not a good example)....
I COULD start by simply doing things like: holding the door open for someone at the supermarket.... calling a friend to check on him/her to see how they're doing..... writing a thank you note to someone.... telling the waitress at the I-Hop that she's doing a great job and leaving a nice tip.....giving my wife a hug, just for putting up with me... (that will really freak her out)....
The "one thing" doesn't have to be earth-shattering... but added up, over time, I think it could be at least, in some small way, world-changing for ME. I'm sure as you're reading this you can think of lots of "little things" you can do today at home or at work or at the local market to make someone else's life a little brighter. I'm at least willing to give it a try. Some days I know I'll fail.. but some days I know I will make a difference. And,... some day.. I WILL write a HIT song! ( I say this because my publisher reads my blogs..... Hi Patricia!)..... And today I just want to say "one thing"... thanks for being my publisher and....friend.....I appreciate all you do! (Now, get out there and pitch, pitch, pitch....)...... I hope everyone has a great week!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Love Those Tests!
The folks at my church asked me if I would talk to the "young'uns" about drug use and addiction. So, I decided that a good way to go about stirring up some discussion would be to put together this short (but sweet) true and false test. I thought it might be interesting if I were to put it up as one of my blogs (that, and the fact that I'm running out of wonderful, clever things to say.....:-)
So.... here ya' go... take the quiz, and, if you get a bad score I will write all over it with RED (politically incorrect) indelible marker!.... the answers are at the end... don't look and cheat or God will strike you down on the spot. (He does things like that for ... cheating, lying, stealing, watching any t.v. program that features Rosie O'Donnell , listening to Lady Gaga's music,...and basically admiring anything done by Paris Hilton)......
True OR False
1. The use of alcohol has been around for thousands of years.
2. ALL drugs affect the brain
3. Alcohol isn't really considered a "drug"
4. Smoking cigarettes is a way of introducing a drug into the brain
5. Some drugs make a person feel more "stimulated"
6. Some drugs depress the central nervous system
7. Of all the mind-altering substances available, alcohol has caused the most damage to societies.
8. Alcoholism is recognized as a "disease" by the American Medical Association
9. Some people can use a particular drug their entire life and never become addicted.
10. Coca Cola contains a drug
11. Coca Cola was named after the drug cocaine.
12. A person can drink so much alcohol at one time that it can cause death
13. Over a hundred-million Americans drank alcohol last month
14. Around 40% of fatal traffic accidents involve drugs and alcohol.
15. My job as a drug and alcohol counselor is to try to get a drug addict or alcoholic to use drugs responsibly.
16. There is no "cure" for alcoholism
17. ALL drugs either inhibit or enhance chemicals that are already present in the human body.
18. According to Al Gore, all addictions are caused by Global Warming (o.k. this is a trick question).... you should probably go with "True".....
Answers: 1.T 2. T. 3.F 4.T 5.T 6.T 7.T 8.T 9.T 10.T 11.T 12.T 13.T 14.T 15.F
16.T 17.T 18.?
So.... here ya' go... take the quiz, and, if you get a bad score I will write all over it with RED (politically incorrect) indelible marker!.... the answers are at the end... don't look and cheat or God will strike you down on the spot. (He does things like that for ... cheating, lying, stealing, watching any t.v. program that features Rosie O'Donnell , listening to Lady Gaga's music,...and basically admiring anything done by Paris Hilton)......
True OR False
1. The use of alcohol has been around for thousands of years.
2. ALL drugs affect the brain
3. Alcohol isn't really considered a "drug"
4. Smoking cigarettes is a way of introducing a drug into the brain
5. Some drugs make a person feel more "stimulated"
6. Some drugs depress the central nervous system
7. Of all the mind-altering substances available, alcohol has caused the most damage to societies.
8. Alcoholism is recognized as a "disease" by the American Medical Association
9. Some people can use a particular drug their entire life and never become addicted.
10. Coca Cola contains a drug
11. Coca Cola was named after the drug cocaine.
12. A person can drink so much alcohol at one time that it can cause death
13. Over a hundred-million Americans drank alcohol last month
14. Around 40% of fatal traffic accidents involve drugs and alcohol.
15. My job as a drug and alcohol counselor is to try to get a drug addict or alcoholic to use drugs responsibly.
16. There is no "cure" for alcoholism
17. ALL drugs either inhibit or enhance chemicals that are already present in the human body.
18. According to Al Gore, all addictions are caused by Global Warming (o.k. this is a trick question).... you should probably go with "True".....
Answers: 1.T 2. T. 3.F 4.T 5.T 6.T 7.T 8.T 9.T 10.T 11.T 12.T 13.T 14.T 15.F
16.T 17.T 18.?
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The Serenity Prayer
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".
I've prayed this prayer often in my life, searching for that elusive "serenity" (peace) in times when my life seemed backed into a corner with no escape...the "Let go and let God" admonition that we so often are instructed to practice. Also praying for the courage to change the things I have the ability to change. Often this is in the area of "making amends", trying to right a wrong from the past. It definitely takes courage to reach back into our past and ask forgiveness from another human being...and, sometimes... having to repay a monetary debt. It's a humbling, yet liberating experience.
The prayer for "wisdom" is also vitally important, especially in the pursuit of making amends. As it says in the Big Book Of A.A., "Making amends to people wherever possible, "except" when to do so whould injure them or others."... Most people do this with the help of a sponsor, or mentor, someone who has already been there, done that, and knows which situations to tackle and which to simply "let be". One can make amends in ways other than digging up the past.
The author of the Serenity Prayer was 20th Century theologian, Reinhold Neibuhr. Born in Missouri in 1882, he died in 1971. During his lifetime Reinhold Neibuhr was the best-known Christian intellectual in the United States. His writings influenced such luminaries as Martin Luther King and John F. Kennedy. Professor Neihbur was an advocate for social justice and used his personal faith in Jesus Christ to try and advance humane working conditions in the booming industrial age, particularly in the automotive manufacturing industry. A man of great faith, he was also keenly aware of the sinfulness of man and the need for a spiritual, supernatural change in the human heart. His total surrender to his God was the impetus for writing the inspiring Serenity Prayer. The prayer has become a standard in opening and closing A.A. and other various meetings for years. Most people think that the prayer consists simply of the lines mentioned in my opening. Actually, the prayer is somewhat lengthier and I would like to present it to you in it's original form...
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to peace, taking, as HE did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next..... Amen"
I've prayed this prayer often in my life, searching for that elusive "serenity" (peace) in times when my life seemed backed into a corner with no escape...the "Let go and let God" admonition that we so often are instructed to practice. Also praying for the courage to change the things I have the ability to change. Often this is in the area of "making amends", trying to right a wrong from the past. It definitely takes courage to reach back into our past and ask forgiveness from another human being...and, sometimes... having to repay a monetary debt. It's a humbling, yet liberating experience.
The prayer for "wisdom" is also vitally important, especially in the pursuit of making amends. As it says in the Big Book Of A.A., "Making amends to people wherever possible, "except" when to do so whould injure them or others."... Most people do this with the help of a sponsor, or mentor, someone who has already been there, done that, and knows which situations to tackle and which to simply "let be". One can make amends in ways other than digging up the past.
The author of the Serenity Prayer was 20th Century theologian, Reinhold Neibuhr. Born in Missouri in 1882, he died in 1971. During his lifetime Reinhold Neibuhr was the best-known Christian intellectual in the United States. His writings influenced such luminaries as Martin Luther King and John F. Kennedy. Professor Neihbur was an advocate for social justice and used his personal faith in Jesus Christ to try and advance humane working conditions in the booming industrial age, particularly in the automotive manufacturing industry. A man of great faith, he was also keenly aware of the sinfulness of man and the need for a spiritual, supernatural change in the human heart. His total surrender to his God was the impetus for writing the inspiring Serenity Prayer. The prayer has become a standard in opening and closing A.A. and other various meetings for years. Most people think that the prayer consists simply of the lines mentioned in my opening. Actually, the prayer is somewhat lengthier and I would like to present it to you in it's original form...
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to peace, taking, as HE did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next..... Amen"
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Forest Green
Pacific Blue...and Forest Green...
Color rolling ocean waves and summer leaves....
This is the beginning lyric of a song I wrote called, "CRAYONS"....
You can hear the entire song at: http://songramp.com/Flyingsheep
I think Freud was onto something when he talked about how the mind sometimes works "subliminally".
I was probably somewhere between 8 and 10 years old (5th or 6th grade?)... When sometime mid-year a new kid showed up in school one day. His name was Forest Green... (and, no, I'm not making this up). Forest Green was a lot different than the rest of us classmates. He seemed to wear the same clothes every day to school, he was unkempt and quiet... pretty much kept to himself. Also, at our school we had "hot lunches". Back then I believe it cost 50 cents a day if you wanted to eat a cafeteria lunch. I think most of us kids did...except for Forest. He brought his lunch in a paper sack (I think it was the same papter sack every day)... One day I just happened to notice that all he had in his sack was a bologna sandwich...maybe it was peanut butter...the exact memory fails me. All I know is that, in my world, at that time, Forest Green was very "different" than me. I do know that I (and the rest of the class) pretty much left him to himself. We probably made fun of him and teased him... the way kids are prone to do when they encounter someone quite unlike themselves. Forest was only in our midst for a short time...probably a few weeks at the most. One day I came to school and he was simply "gone". Looking back I imagine that his family was poor and transient and the father (if there was one in the home) probably lost a job and they had to move on.
Sometimes, even now, a half-century later, I find myself wondering what ever happened to that young boy who moved in and out of my life like a wisp of smoke. Did he ever escape the cycle of poverty? Did he end up in a juvenile facility? Prison? ... Did he ever find love? ... get married?... Does he have kids?... Is he even still alive?
In First Corinthians 13, the "Love" Chapter, it reads: "When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man I put childish ways behind me." Sometimes, when I think about Forest, it makes me wonder... Have I really? Have I put childish ways "behind me"?... as an adult?
It seems that God, in His infinite wisdom, has always provided Forest Greens who periodically move in and out of my life... those "Ragamuffins" of society who somehow always show up unexpectedly and inconveniently in all their scruffiness and unlikeableness. Jesus was constantly criticized by the religious leaders of His time for not only hanging out with, but embracing the poor, the downtrodden, the lepers, the dregs of "society". When I read the Gospels I can't help but be taken by the fact that God loves ragamuffins. As a follower of Jesus (yes, I try)... I'm embarassed to admit that I, more often than not, still yearn to "cling to my childish ways". I still want to run the other direction when I see someone "different" than the person I think I am. ("I THINK I am") being the key phrase. God help me.... to see the worth in every human being created in YOUR image!... Help me "grow up" and put away the foolishness of childhood. Father, forgive me....Forest...forgive me. For not being there for you when you desperately needed a kind word...when all you wanted was someone to care... just another little kid who would play catch with you or sit down and share his lunch with you. When you needed...a friend.
I know,... I know... It was years ago. I was just a child back then. But now,...now... I have no excuse.
Color rolling ocean waves and summer leaves....
This is the beginning lyric of a song I wrote called, "CRAYONS"....
You can hear the entire song at: http://songramp.com/Flyingsheep
I think Freud was onto something when he talked about how the mind sometimes works "subliminally".
I was probably somewhere between 8 and 10 years old (5th or 6th grade?)... When sometime mid-year a new kid showed up in school one day. His name was Forest Green... (and, no, I'm not making this up). Forest Green was a lot different than the rest of us classmates. He seemed to wear the same clothes every day to school, he was unkempt and quiet... pretty much kept to himself. Also, at our school we had "hot lunches". Back then I believe it cost 50 cents a day if you wanted to eat a cafeteria lunch. I think most of us kids did...except for Forest. He brought his lunch in a paper sack (I think it was the same papter sack every day)... One day I just happened to notice that all he had in his sack was a bologna sandwich...maybe it was peanut butter...the exact memory fails me. All I know is that, in my world, at that time, Forest Green was very "different" than me. I do know that I (and the rest of the class) pretty much left him to himself. We probably made fun of him and teased him... the way kids are prone to do when they encounter someone quite unlike themselves. Forest was only in our midst for a short time...probably a few weeks at the most. One day I came to school and he was simply "gone". Looking back I imagine that his family was poor and transient and the father (if there was one in the home) probably lost a job and they had to move on.
Sometimes, even now, a half-century later, I find myself wondering what ever happened to that young boy who moved in and out of my life like a wisp of smoke. Did he ever escape the cycle of poverty? Did he end up in a juvenile facility? Prison? ... Did he ever find love? ... get married?... Does he have kids?... Is he even still alive?
In First Corinthians 13, the "Love" Chapter, it reads: "When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man I put childish ways behind me." Sometimes, when I think about Forest, it makes me wonder... Have I really? Have I put childish ways "behind me"?... as an adult?
It seems that God, in His infinite wisdom, has always provided Forest Greens who periodically move in and out of my life... those "Ragamuffins" of society who somehow always show up unexpectedly and inconveniently in all their scruffiness and unlikeableness. Jesus was constantly criticized by the religious leaders of His time for not only hanging out with, but embracing the poor, the downtrodden, the lepers, the dregs of "society". When I read the Gospels I can't help but be taken by the fact that God loves ragamuffins. As a follower of Jesus (yes, I try)... I'm embarassed to admit that I, more often than not, still yearn to "cling to my childish ways". I still want to run the other direction when I see someone "different" than the person I think I am. ("I THINK I am") being the key phrase. God help me.... to see the worth in every human being created in YOUR image!... Help me "grow up" and put away the foolishness of childhood. Father, forgive me....Forest...forgive me. For not being there for you when you desperately needed a kind word...when all you wanted was someone to care... just another little kid who would play catch with you or sit down and share his lunch with you. When you needed...a friend.
I know,... I know... It was years ago. I was just a child back then. But now,...now... I have no excuse.
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